i dun stay single long enuff.

well thats wat one of my frineds said.. or commented on.. and it was more like.. can;t you stay single for a moment..to be honest.. i find detachment a horror.. i cannot leave without hugs and cuddles.. sometimes i want hugs so much i hug myself.. wait.. that is wrong.. i mean.. i dun do that..

clears throat...hahah

well. to be absolutely honest.. i am verypicky..

so picky infact that.. i doubt anyone would be able to meet the specs of the thing or woman i want..i mean you cna buy shoes with compromises.. and/or buy many pairs of shoes..but you can never have too little woman.. one is all there is.. well sometimes i doubt my self in things i do.. and in this case its no exception.. every gal that i know. has good points and bad.. but the good points may be magnified.. unless the bad ones are so huge then it would be a different story..

luckily for me.. my brain would sometime slip into gear to make rational decisions.. and i am thank full for some made..

irrational ones from the heart ar a whole new kettle of fish.. its really a case of the one you love and the one you know your parents would agree to.. somethign like that.. i am lucky my current is a pretty good mix of both..

my previous.. well.. it was a bad case of heart.. so bad i could have carved mine out and gave it to her..she was a phantasmal being.. one that would have only been able to aexist in a world or nobuo tetsuya's music and would have looked picture perfect in a cosplay costume standing right next to squak lionheart in ffVIII something..

well all in all.. i dunnoe how long it will last.. and i am not sure.. and i am just praying..that this one.. that has come by my life and has miraculously entered my life at this juncture.. i am eternally grateful..

romance..

i think i am blessed.

or

maybe it just my weakness..

well lets see.. i have probably written a gazillion times that i am infatuous..

many a times.. i have wished to go for flings instead of a relationship cos the baggage that comes along with a reg one. i am not sure i could bare.. esp when i did mention i am infatuous.. well

despite the non explanatory - explanation (if there is such a thing), its been considered kinda heartless. partially because the society views it as such.. and it kinda affects me in to a guilt state as well..

so the only way.. would be a regular relationship..nad here i would just like to say.. i haven the most fantastic history in relationships..well or infatuations..
i shall do it in chronological order.. regardless or infatuation or BGR..

1. kindergarden infatuation- some one called (e) whom i was smitten by for 2 years.. and i actually kissed her.. and ran. but i have no recollection of..don't think anyone does. i only remembered the uniform i wore was ghastly..

2. primary school infatuation- from p1 to 2 known this really cute gal.. so cute it was embarassing. i daren't even look her in the eye.. and i remebered there was a case of peeking at her.. from behind my file.. (sounded perversely wrong - but its not..)blushes..

3. primary school (unclear)- from p3 till p3 i think.. this gal is a chilli pepper.. very nice gal.. sweet smile.. liked her alot.. and i think we were "together" (please go back and flip your brain to primary school mode..you'll see that the implications would be ginormous).. then.. she kinda fell for someone else.. so i was ditched..

4. primary school infatuation- this gal. happens to be a transfer student.. and very pretty..( i dun really know the point.. but i trust no gal that i actually go out is ghastly..so i presume i can then proceed with the rest of tis compost-sition without overtly repeating this word "pretty") sweet looking.. but later went horibly wrong.. cos i think i ticked her off alot. and the process of mollifying it toward freindship kinda backfired..

sec 1 - 4 no one in school..but i was very infatuated with this neighbour of mine.. whom.. i liked.. and wished to pursue.. with serious intentions.. but was due a farce.. as we both found "relationship-ping" at that level not really workable.. and best if we were friends.. even if.. one of worse would be a little sexually confused..(she calls me jie mei.. sort-off) just kidding.. but we are dearly good friends..

post sec pre poly... again for about a year.. this lady filled my mind.. she is gentle.. very pretty smile.. had bad hair days alot.. but easily remedied with salon visit.. hehe.. ain that bad.. well.. she was this sweet cuteness.. always dressed very smiply in black or white tshirt.. no prints. and jeans.. but can stun the socks off me.. well spoken.. dimples... she happens to be in the poly i am in.. but she is older than me and in a seperate wing.. there was once. i dream of her while revising for my papers.. and worse i wrote her name down on my exma paper..felt really stupid..

poly.. shikes.. this would probably be the worst.. well thank god its anonymous.. or i may have to shave my face off and bury it..and its a layer cake thingy.. cos its all jumbled up..and it mostly infatuations. and there were so many i oculd have sworn.. i would have worn hugh hefner for body count..this is embarrassing..

REALLY..

1. a class mate adorable.. very chatty. loads to tok about.. but in the end we grew apart..

2. a class mate.. went with an event with her.. so swoon.. that till this day.. when she smiles i'll faint. and if she i look at her.. i'll melt..she really made me see her for her full detail.. the dark ebony (i know copied it from snow white) hair.. skin fair as snow.. smile like national stadium spotlights (ok .. the brightness.. not that its actually circular with tungsten filaments that switch on and off) but she has this teethy smile that displays confidence.. absolutely amazing dress sense.. speaks well..dreamily sweet.. and as it turns out to be a very nice lady who turns out to be very approachable chatty.. to think i was too shy to even whisper to her for the whole of my first year.. that bad..

3. a girl i met on a cruise.. diff school of study.. cute.. but was attached.. bummer..

4. (relationship) my class rep that year.. the first year i had to be retained.. was very nice to me.. and her clique as well.. funny.. chatty.. witty..but our backgrounds were alot different.. but she is a very pleasant gal and she used to do this really cute thig of biting on my finger till it jst left a mark.. sometimes it hurts.. but cute. and she is also very leggy..she has legs the same length as mine.. but she is shorter than me.. hmmm.. but it was a little rushed.. sorry .. but i was impatient.. so she put it off.. she got someone better afterwards.. good for her..

then..came.. work... this is even worse.. i had crushes like rain..ok.. maybe less.. more like an olive oil drizzle over a nicoise salad..

ok..

here goes..

1. (infatuation -almost made it but did not) a girl (duh!) chubby.. cute.. older than me. (oh.. did i ever tell you i actaully prefer older woman.. not too old..5 years older max) funny.. have topics in common.. comfortable.. but did not want to rush into it.. so we kinda came off. but it was a pleasant experience.. she was very sweet (still is)

2. (infatuation) she is a beautiful person really doorslamming pretty.. with a fantastic smile.. still in my head.. but she is older than me.. again.. she is very knowledgeable..well spoken in both english andmandarin.. and especially well read in chinese lit.. mixture of taiwan singapore and malaysia.. she was a dream.. and has impeccable tastes..am glad to have known her.

3. (infatuation) this lady is malay.. not to mark her out racially.. but its just that because of that .. there in lies the hurdle.. as i am not exactly religious.. we weren;t really possible.. and me being impossible told her i liked her quite abit and things went really wrong i guess.. you know women. haha.. well its hard to live life without regrets.. one end you wish you won regret you did not tell her.. and on the other hand you wish you had never told her..hard choice that one.. i chose the lesser of two evils.. (not really) but yah.. she is amazing.. artistic.. gorgeous. and has the sort of air.. like a travelling artist.. very nice.

4. (infatuation) this lady is again.. older than me.. working in another department.. and have it not been her shoes and hair.. i would have been lost.. its pretty amusing to see a staff dressed not according to dress code.. and sporting a bob hairstyle with striking shoes.. i could have sworn it was athe envy of all who work there.. cos dress shoes can kill.. well she is well spoken.. has good tastes.. also a very artsy person.. impressive cos she is a designer for bags.. or used to.. and good taste.. sweet personality.. pleasant smile.. and sweeter than you think personality..

NS...

normally pple would rarely associate NS with girls. but ... well jsut read..


1. (relationship) from another department.. a sporting gal.. started as a junior kinda thing.. later got a little serious.. cute smiley.. but was a little possesive.. and i found her hard to read.. the relationship went on the rocks and had to be called to a halt.but she was a very passionate girl.. the first one i made out with..

2.this is a peak in my life.. something few would encounter and i am more that fortunate to have experienced a relationship like this.. albeit a very empty one.. its one worth remembering. Met my bud for a drink.. decided to go seven eleven since he was buying.. opened the door and there she stood in all her beauty.. swept me off my feet.. head of heels.. and all that deeply swooned mallarkey.. well all thanks to modern technology we communicated with ease.. but not by phone though sadly.. well.. we've been on sms msn and telly for about 4 months.. but i guess its a sensation of it not going anywhere so she kind of faded into the background.. and not picking up phone calls.. eventually she drifted out of sight.. in all but my minds eye.. who ever she choose to be with i wish her all happiness and bliss..

5. (relationship sort off - present) a studious gal. hardly noticed during school times.. hung out with another class.. she was a in my buddy class in another clique.. had really good grades.. knowledgeable.. quiet.. well spoken.. not characteristically pretty.. but smile is pretty adorable..very good natured..been out with her recently.. to pulau ubin and got caught in this hugely bad rain it kinda pelted down on us like bullets.. very hard to see while cycling.. saw alot of wildlife.. she is also a photography enthusiast and she is into research..she kept up with me on the bike.. we sat on the bridge while taking in the sights and breeze.. a cutey with brains.. who would have thot.. she is amazing.. and i adore her plenty..hope it goes further.



so there it is..these are the major cahpters that strum my heartstrings.. some more.. or less than others.. but none are the same.. i just hope i won be filling up more chapters than need be.. because its a state which wears one out incredibly.. the troughs and peaks can hurl you through the clouds or fall you like a rock.. each in it way.. make you learn and admire things around you.. but in many ways more than others let me see.. that i am surrounded by plenty of beautiful pple who have different skills.. beliefs.. principles and likings.. not all whom i like will like me back.. but i like them all the same..may we be friends near or far.. i wish them all the best.. and with history, bear memories and dreams but no scar.

land ahoy..

everyone has probably read the story of noah;s ark and how he is carried on this massive ark he built while the whole world was sunken in this huge soup or rotting carcases or rotting human affluence will he sent out the bird once more and it carried back a twig.. and then.. LAND.. all that yada..

well not that it links to anything i am about to say.. not directly anyways..but i guess everyone loves the dwindling flame moment which lead it through to an amazing eruption of energy and uplifting-ness beyond any and many..

well i felt like a dead tree for the longest time.. well enuff repetion.. if you want to.. just read previous posts..well i can hardly say that my journey in life has been smooth.. well smoother than most.. but it seems to be lacking in that spark.. i just dun seem to lead a life with gusto..it seems so flat..

well some one told me before.. boredom is when your life is too good.. i guess so.. but not good enuff it seems.. as with all men.. i seek for better of the goods. sad though it is.. i wish i could be on a cobblestone laid path.. strolling back to a comfy cottage by the see.. with a wafty fireplace.. and cosy kitchen.. red bricked all round. and view of an endless see set before me.. and the breeze of it toward me.. but it isn't meant to be. as the world we live in concretes it self with money and all else is lost..

with bits and shreds of humanity that blooms only to rot and wither with debauchery.. human weakness..

vulnerable

i feel it at times.. or most of the times.. we are always in need to hold up something and how it isn't penetrable or somethign of such measure.. it seems to feel that much more present today than in others.

you know when pple say its alright ot show the world your softer side or that being vulnerable is not a bad thing but please.. this sounds damn ass cliche and honestly such advse could and would have been plain suicidal if everyone is to be as such. well cos technically we as humans won all do it.. they are bound to be some pple who would be twisted enuff to manipulate pple knowing their vlunerabilities..

quintessentially.. after all has been said and done.. we as humans are becoming more and more aware of the dangers that may be.. and looking at the impending trent that is developing and enveloping the world..i daresay.. days when individuals segregate and the whole world turns cold is such a not so distant future...

------------\

went out today.. not that i dun alwaiz.. but it was different today.. it was just dinner.. but it was kinda nice.. in a simple sort of way. its been a long time since just calling someone out fo dinner.. well today i asked wanlu out.. a poly mate whom i hardly contacted in ages.. sadly.. but we did get acquainted so i thot it good to hang out and be updated sorts. it all turned out pretty nice.. or in a weird sense seeing two individuals muttering nothings and being unable to take reigns on things.. well more like one party was being polite and cordial by saying anything would do.. the other would not want to impose upon any thing which may come across as not so pleasant to the other perons.. hence moments of waiting and indecisive behaviour emerges.. but thankfully we manage to get some spot.. to grab grub..and this time it was a case of the person and not the food.. where eating really is the company.. and te food may have turned cold or may not be as delicious as expected .. well all is forgotten.. all that is held in opinion is the perons and the content exchanged..

it was a pleasant dinner

a long tail.

wat started as an inspired anecdote is goign to mutate into a draggy novela.

through all the quirks i've been through this has to be the motherload.

i always thot that live would be alittle smoother.. but it seems that my faith is unfounded..and it by itself is not the basic reason for this baseless grumbling over the minuscule particle called bytes which i am occupying.

well first thing on handd would be an immense apology.. not sure this works..but it feels kinda like i have let this blog down abit.. a long un foretold hiatus.. or just sheer abandonment.. has left with me with a limp wrist and a lacking of motivation to write.

its one of thos e periods when everything and anything is happening.. and some days are so beautiful that you would stop to see the sky and the clouds roll by and the birds chirp.. and i can telll you those days were absolutely scenic. but some how.. over the unfurling ofthe day.. many uglies overcast the day and turn it into poop.

well updates... started going to beach volley.. trying to head down every weekend. but can;t cos . last week got guard.. next weekend got wedding.. sigh..missing two weeks in a go.. sure wish i dun lose momentum.

beginning to miss rowing.. alot.. ALOT.. i so wanna go back to rowing.. gliding down a flat surface of water on a scull..the exhilirating peace.. haha..
but at the same time hoping to take up wake boarding.

spent a hundred -ish for a shirt for my sisters wedding..

bought a gift for sijin for 2 hundred - ish.

Oh.. which brings me to.. me and Sijin.. Sijin.. is this person (felt almost wanting to put her down as fairy like being) whom i met at a seven eleven in singapore. and then later "had feelings." but in recent times.. things has changed.. no more loving phone calls.. touchy sweet dollops for messages. weet nothigns.. ample smiles.. lovely pictures.. sweet thots and memories. and not forgetting webcam moments. but i guess the ending was foreseen by many .. as long as they had eyes.. they could and would be able to see where is would have gone and it happened to have gone jsut there.. after some not answering.. and not replying.. i think we are over.. much as i not wish for it to be.. it is.. sad but true..

well at this point in time i guess eveyone must be thinking i am some shallow ass who is only after looks..
well yes.. i agree... i am into girls with looks.but it is the first point on contact.but that would be besides the point.. because.. i liked her.. for her ability to accept me..and her enthusiasm toward me..it was never b4 kinda thing..and it deeply affects me.. knowing that no one has ever done that and perhaps no one ever would..

just sorry to see her go.. but it would be wats best for her too.

i am dying..shrivelled.. whithered,,

lets see... i am as the title would say...

sigh.. i am all sapped. say i am an arian. i am born in some shite period with a

shrivelled drought 100x that of estonia or any ofthose good sounding but truly wretched

places... i am so in the state of being sapped dry..

well.. enuff with the metaphors.. i am just in a sinewy mess..


i felt her.. i feel her.. and i want her.. and much more than that... she is one whom i

would dearly lay down my life for.. but yet somehow i am left bare.. its like.. here

stand.. (or sit) proclaiming that i love her.. but my inability to do anything to bring us closer makes me feel terribly inept.

i feel truly blessed.. and i would still remember.. that very moment that she hit me like a a quivering arrow buried deep.

but i feel like i am loosing it.

gosh.


well.. till i blog agai i guess

my dream

omg.. i so want this.. more than any ferrari or maserati you can give me..

i would want this on my wedding day.. and one which i shall drive.. through age , sickness and poverty (choy!!!!)can i have this in white with GPS and a huge sunroof.

dun worry Sijin.. i haven forgotten you.. you'll always be number one.

my dream

i dun get it..

lets see... everyone whom i have met so far sayd my family is warth and hit.. but honestly i am geting quiet cheesed..sometimes i relaly wish i lived in my own house.. only that is not possible.. cos the house cos like astronomical amounts.. and the hold lifestyle thign bascially leaves you with no air..so my alternative is to get out of the house as and when i can..

like today.. well a couple of days..my mum suggested changing the sideboard.. so she got it swapped out.but the old one she held back instead of gettgin the contractor to ship it out.. but she kept it. and for a couple of say she was deliberating wat to do with it.. and i was like.. ok...
just keep me out of it..

then.. she decides she wants to cut it up.. so being a son.. i helped.. but my word.. after that.. it did not work out.. she kinda demanded that i ship it out of the house.. all i did was tell her to hold on for a while.. and next thing you knoe.. she throws this piss fit about em not caring about the house.. about condescending the very existence of the house..(i just blamed it on menopause
) but fuck it.. its like.. too much of it.. i am human too.. and you aren the only one with a bloody temper.. i have a temper much worse and i have to put up with this??

ever thot of our stand.. i donot disrespect the house we live in.. or my parents.. but a stretch is a stretch.. so dun get too far..

i love my family but i just am not the sort that huddels with family.. we can share jokes and laugh.. but i need and want my private space alot.. call it selfish.. but with a world that has alot more freedom than me.. i kinda need this to keep me sane..



(in a calmer mood)

another thign.. is the pursuit of love..i met this dream... well more like some one saw my dreams and casted a mould..and form that mould came this person.. who just fits the job description( like there is one) .. and she is Sijin.. someone whom i met by accident. and incidentally and infatuation and now a relationship.which is alot more straight forward then anything else in this part of the world.. and incredible becase i am not the sweetest darling around.. and i am pretty much ERIK by gaston leroux.. so to have her.. i feel more than thankful for. but whenever my spirits soar and every sight sound of her. the feelings of reality hold me back even more.. i long more and more for her touch.. for her sweet mouthings .. for us to speak face to face.. for us to face life eventually.. hopefully..

but as if reality is not hard anuff.. i have parents who are kinda cajolling at the wrong time.. you know when you have this dream that you know is possible.. but in your parents eyes you just seem like a toad calwing it way out of a tank... they jsut smirk and tell you "you go boy..." like it helps.. and its worse when i am serious.. it makes me feel i am crazy.. and maybe i am.. but wanting to flyover to meet with one whom i know not when i would meet again issit insane? or is holding on to something for months on end.. with a tinge fo sustenance worth it...i have been waitin for about half a year..and i intend to wait more..should i?

i think i want to.. i know i want to.. and i know i am going to. but a relationship is not all me..its also her... will she wait.. and even if she does.. issit fair for her? its no longer like in 14th century england where you have george bernard shaw and mrs patrick campbell where you all just write to each other all your lifes.. i am not sure this is enuff.

no matter how we correspond... the eventuality is that we have to arrive at some point for an absolution..or else.. it would be just an idea with nothign concrete..

i wish to fly to korea and see her... its not like i am asking my parents to sponsor my trip?
i know my education is important.. but i am serving blardy national fucking service..which leaves me sitting duck..
so wat education are you tok ing about..

and going there for a few days.. its a absolution of sorts fr me.. but to my parents it s a joke..


just need to vent this.. dunnoe how long i can hold this..

oh my oh my..

dug through some of my old thrash.. and i am so glad i found this song thats playing in the background.

i trust pple who have popped by or has spoke to me.. know that i am pretty much attached.. and this song.. just clicks it.. and if you want to .. just tunr it up and rock on.. oh.. my.. i feel my booty shaking.. hahaha..

to my dearest Sijin.. Love you alot.. love you always.

oh my oh my..

another post.

started this blog awhile back.. feels like forever... well it should be,.

seeing this blog skin of mine makes me feel vague nostalgic..

alot to see and re-see.. wondering how all through did i become..

and wat eventuality has been derived of me.


here i am in front of one blaring screen.. writing as though i am watching the life of

my own through another... all through my life.. i have to say that i have many reasons

to not be unhappy... but somethings make me even more unhappy.. but this i shall leave

to divulge in some old sweet time should my spirits defect toward the nightly shade

once more...



from the darker side that reigned once.. comes the merryment that would cast it

aback.

its been so long since i lay word upon this parchment of my life... a seemingly

endless scroll that through one carve the very essence of living on, and plenty has happen..

a frenzy that rushes by. leaving my conciousness in relative sloth and so i am thankful.


well in recent times. alot has happened.. and alot i am waiting to happen..

one of my bestest buddy had her 21st birthday. and having known her for so long.. it seems only fitting to lay some tracks should i grow senile one day. so that i shall have a source to reminisce about..

haha


others are just my pinings and yearn. i have waited for even longer than i thought possible.

i met her by chance in june.. never have i thot i would carry on till now..

but i do dearly love her.. and i miss her dearly too.. hopes are mounting with each passing day that i would meet her and that we would be able to bask in each others presence.

i hope it be soon..

last published aug 11th

its another day.. its hard not to feel lonely even though i am constantly surrounded by pple.

colleagues at work... strangers packing me.. on the train.. and my family.. who is ever there.. and i am ever grateful for their being there for me..

but i still long and wish forher by my side... ever pondering and ever longing for that fateful day.. when the wait is over and the eventuality presents itself to me..
i would hold on.. teeth gritting.. awaiting the arrival of then.


lets see.. emotionally deprived in certain areas.. and not feeling all well.. that.. kinda summarises me today.. emotions.. have been pretty stagnant.. well as they say.. stability is key..

not feeling well.. cos of training for cd parade.. abt dehydrated.. and not rested.. so stomac is suffering abit.. at this moment..but the climax.. is not when i rush toilet.. nonono.. but it was lunch today..

its kinda strange.. cos my parents have always been into chinese food.. like chinese chinese.. dun even think of putting in a shred of modernity into it..kind of.. well if modernity blends in well no prob.. other than that.. well.. should we decide to dine.. the modern westerninse.. zen... health food style sushi bar would defintely be the last place my parents ever set foot in..

so big surprise when they decided to step into my humble house at the esplanade... i really loved the food anf the furnishing.. and the music..and the waitress..erm.. i menat their service.. hahh..bleah..

well.. its a spread that is fantastic.. and seeing my mum enjoying fusion food for the first time.. i was very happy..and alittle shock.. haha..

well imagine this. a side buffet of dessert salad and FOIE GRAS.. hahahaha

and a foray of other dishes made with such exquisite attention.. with a view of the singapore waterfront..marvelous..

after that a short walk round the esplanade..

and then.. home...

sleepy.. crash.

wat a day..

well its a couple of days mushes together to form this post..

sorry for the so many un-posts.. been serious busy.. with work..and sleep..

well sleep mostly.. haha

well ever since "work" started ... my biological clock has gone haywire..so o tend to be unable to fall asleep.. at first.. then i would stone.. and crash..

the next day.. i would sleep almost any where i can find basically..in the train.. the bus.. the store.. my chair at work..even on bar flooring.. haha

well its unavoidable i guess.. and at work.. when things get bad.. like busy.. it can be relaly heated.. nd being in customer service.. ain making it better.. but at elast it manageable..thanks alot to my senior and my boss..

well.. loads happened.. i almsot swallowed my tongue when i made a mistake during a solemn ceremony for national day... almost lost a chunk of the speech..hhahaha

well its due to bad hearing..hahah

well later the next day.. i was alsmot heaving to sleep.. cos i was so exhausted from not having enough rest.. to i gradually but surely dosed off into my dreams..
it was a moist sweet cloud that is all sweet and spicy.. a wiff would send you afloat towards to heavens... (try and figure this out yourself.. should be darn simple)

well one moment she was in my dreams.. and the next moment.. she rang me..(before the phone call she actaully smsed me.. all the way from korea..) and when i picked up.. i heard this unfamiliar clatter in the background.. which kinda made me more puzzled.. and then.. a voice called out my name in a way that it could on be her... hehehe

here she is..

well she rang me all the way from korea.. and it invigorated me.. i was like recharged instantly.. oh yes.. hahah

ad then.. we chatted up.. slow as it was .. she is the sweetest thing.. and so now.. its email.. msn.. sms.. and phone calls too.. though not very frequent.. but it makes it ever so special.. kinda festive even.. hehe

=-=-=-=-=-=-=--=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=--==-=-=-==-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=-=

another day.. well.. today actually. after a night of saying endless goodnites and deciding who should go offline first.. me and Sijin fianlly rested for the night.. and this morning i was to wake for a few appointments.. more like.. to be late..

cos i woke up and 11.. which is rare..maybe cos the dream was just so good..

then.. as my usual self.. i washed up.. grabbed watever was lying around.. and went out of the house.. to meet radha and peihua.. one for lunch the other for dinner. met up for a meal.. they were not however the meal.. (sorry/... bad sentence structuring)

well met radha.. she was waiting for me.. or the other way.. and then.. it was Haagen Daz for ice-cream.. then it was DISTURBIA.. shia lebouf is not bad.. although it seesm his roles so far has always been love sick teenager always smitten by some chick but forever with no balls to proper get hr out.. other than beyond normal circumstances..like being a "Wat do you call a male DAMSEL???" when he was reaching out sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo hard for his mail.. he desperately needed help..

hahha.. but in the end he gets the gal.. well.. duh...

but thestory is so awesome.. house arrest turns psycho homicide thriller.. altough it did smudge the image of carrie ann moss in my head.. still like her in matrix better....

then there after... we shopped around abit.. and then.. i met up with peihua.. shopping? well yah.. then met up with alot of familiar faces.. kinda freaked me out.. did not expect to be THIS small..bought a t shirt from river island.. for the beach sorts i think.. haven decided.. just tho it was the thorn among the bushes.. so i got it.. haha.. and plus it was on sale.. so yah..

followed by dinner.. which was at food republic.. which is really pretty good.. but 7 90 for laksa.. feels alittle cut throat..but piping hot..

and then.. alittle more walk.. and thats my day for now..


till i blog again..

flirtatious me..?

alot going through my brain right now..

so much so.. i need an exit.. that no one could provide ...
a lonesome corner of sorts...

the sort where you wish the whole world could relay the message to ones ears..
true hints.. as though a population of hints were flowing right through and the listener would pick out specifics.. nd catch the hint...

unfortunately however such subtlety does no exist...
and knowing it so blatantly kinda makes it harder for
one to find such avenues.

i have recently been twining into this gargantuan ball called love...

or in my sister's opinion.."not another one of your silly infatuations.. sigh..."

which could be so.. and it does seem alittle far fetched.. but the main difference is the response.. it ain a... i like you very much.. and then girls runs away like she sees a ghost scenario...

its when "i love you back" appears and suddenly.. i am on cloud "not sure howmany"

and then.. all the hestiations clear.. and i feel so gratified to be able to pronounce that the ambiguity has gone... but a long wait has just begun..

somehow one would think.. wat if.. thinks just fall through..with i thousand "no"s i hope it does not..

well.. just praying to whoever is the all powerful supreme being or otherwise who is somehow yoyo-oing with my fate string or seomthing.. please.. dun do this for too long..

and i miss her sooo much... i could almost not bear it.. not being able to see her.. but to always think of her.. and have images of her flashing by...

i just miss her..

deathbed memories..

deathbed memories..

sounds grim..

but its inevitable..a finite counter to the chapters to our lifes..

well melodramtically..it would be the surrounded by everyone and then you weep your hearts out..

but wat issit that would dwelve in your mind.. apart form the feeling of sadnes.. and being drenched by both the overwhelming tearing sensation cos its very infectious.. or blanket of melancholy..

i know to many out there.. they must be wondering.. ..

wat a topic to be done on Friday the 13th..

well my life i hope to be long and fruitful.. as does everyone..

but i fear i will live one with plenty of regrets..

for my 20 years i have plenty to regret.. things i probably would have forgotten when i die.. but should i go tomorrow.. touch wood.. but is not impossible..
i should feel i have owed too many too much..

for freinds who unconditonally stayed by me.. and provided me with company.. and air ..to breathe.. when home seems to squeeze me..

and also to fiends.. who gave me my occasional release of anger.. sorry if i can;t control it.. but releasing it feels so good.. albeit on inanimate objects..

but i regret neglecting.. my studies.. although i did not bear much liking for it..
i regretted being a moron at times.. sometimes i still am..
i regret missing so many opportunities life has presented me..


well lets hope it ends there...

and lets hope i live longer to make up for things..

deathbed memories.. this is to remind me about wat to write next time..

hmmm
dear me..

i love .. i miss.. and i dearly wish to be by her side..

but it would be a long gruelling wait.. omg..

but i still do like her..


시진

너무 보고 싶었어요

보고싶어

arghh

i dunnoe.. but i think my body is not goign to take it too well..

maybe will break in acouple of days.. acouple of loose screws.. wrecked joints..

who knows..

well look at it this way.. my week has been slammed.. think like everyday drying..so soon.. i should be able to snap and appear in a biscuit advertisement..

well.. its misery alot of times. OUCH... big time.. 시진 i haven't been toking to her.. sadly so.. cos she is busy.. and i am busy.. and i am stoned.. feeling dreadfully guilty.. it was soddingly horrid..

well just hope that we could have more time for gel-ing. Guess the hunch i had would soon materialize..sadly..

well being the turnip i am.. i think i am at least grateful that my life ain all empty.. but sometimes.. i really wish my life was a little more involved..
more like.. its full.. i am always doing something... but its just the meaning.. where am i heading... wat meant wat and who is to who to me.. etc...


well.. before this piece it becomes a suicide note.. lets lighten up..

lets see sculling for one.. massively difficult.. the coordination etc..

the balancing the scull.. massive stuff..

and then.. lets see.. its basically the same old same old from there..
think wake at 4 am work till 5 30 get home reach home at 7 ish 8.. and then..its dinner.. rest.. net.. some tv.. and snooze.. and it repeats it self..


if only i could lead a care free 24 hours.. siting on the deck of an itama 55 .. with two riedel flutes of old-time bollingers...and seating with love one in my arms. as we look out into the horizon.. into the faraway sun.. as it veils inself below the ocean blue..

then... we'll head to shore.. raise a small fire... have a small roast.. then we'll stay by the "hearth" for warmth.. as we lie back and look into the night sky.. hunting for stars...

and then the rest.. maybe pple who come across my blog can add to it.. hahha.. nights..

me again..

ARIES- Irresistible
Nice Love is one of a kind. Great
listeners Very Good in bed... Lover
not a fighter, but will still knock
you out. Trustworthy. Always happy.
Loud. Talkative. Outgoing VERY
FORGIVING. Loves to make out. Has a
beautiful smile. Generous. Strong. THE
MOST IRRESISTIBLE.


WOW>. i had no idea..

Struck.. dead struck

here she is.. and with a moment of elation that supersedes all else..

.. well the story was like this..

about a month ago.. i was attached..but then..i got ditched.(for details read earlier posts.)

and for a few weeks after.. i've lost taste for all things really..
it was front after front..i felt like knifing myself cos of the guilt
caused.. but regardless..its good to see that me and my ex are on friendly good terms once more..at least on the surface.. (maybe under it.. there is a simmering sense of resentment.. who knows..) well i clawed on..

it was different.. after the relationship..one feels alittle numb..
not so much up and ready like.. when you are in it..i was totally sapped.

and then.. came the issue about a friend who thought that i was interested in his love interest.. and then.. i felt like busting a cap in my temple..

seriously felt like dying..cos i asked her( my friend's love interest) out to just make a number cos a frined had free tix and also ask my frined along to mould things up with the girl.. but he could not make it.. and then some hoohah later.. things fell back into place.. hopefully..

the above which all happened in about a duration of a month..(wat a life i have)

and then.. remember the part i said about a friend of mine and a friend's love interest?? well us three went to sentosa for a night out.. some concert thingy at del mar.. but we got bored.... and she had to leave early so me and my friend went to get a drink. and deciding that del mar over charges and although he owes me money .. i dun want to kill him.. we decided on 7-11 instead. only to meet a bunch of gals from Korea who were lodging nearby (hotels on sentosa) coming round to grab some grub. One of them caught my eye.. but i thot it a fluke and decided to move on.. then later..when i was near the drink sect. there she was again.. trying to figure which was the "cherry beer" or cherry flavoured liquour.. which i then pointed out to her.. and then we started to converse and later we started taking pictures.. exchanging email addresses and eventually we arrive at the point of when we departed for our drinks and them back to their lodgings.

a couple of days later.. got an email from her.. and now.. it has evolved into a starburst LDR..

seems almost too good to be true.. having seen so many love song mtvs..

of course.. one would hope for something like this to last..







feel like i could fly.

ecstacy.

oh my god..

over specialize and you'll breed weakness.. its slow death....
lets see.. does this mean that only by cross breeding with another species that we'd be able to continue this means of living.


hmmm well its all this hypothesis that lead us to a worry or constantfear even of species annihilation..a terrifying deal i suppose but non the less plenty to keep the world busy with..

but there is only that much we could do..
wat if... just wat if we really die out..

imagine wat would come out next.. imagine if we died out..
would we be like dinosaurs?

advancement and the need to participate in advancement.
wouldn't that make us the most painful specimens to ever be harvested..

if only we'd slow down..

ok

Your Observation Skills Get A B-

Your senses are pretty sharp (okay, most of the time) And it takes something big to distract you!

How Observant Are You?

erm

You Are 80% Open Minded

You are so open minded that your brain may have fallen out! Well, not really. But you may be confused on where you stand. You don't have a judgemental bone in your body, and you're very accepting. You enjoy the best of every life philosophy, even if you sometimes contradict yourself.

How Open Minded Are You?

if only

You Are a Natural Flirt

Believe it or not, you're a really effective flirt. And you're so good, you hardly notice that you're flirting. Your attitude and confidence make you a natural flirt. And the fact that you don't know it is just that more attractive!

What Kind of Flirt Are You?

omg.

You Follow Your Heart

You're romantic, sentimental, and emotional. You tend to fall in (and out of) love very quickly. Some may call you fickle, but you can't help where your emotions take you. You've definitely broken a few hearts, but you're not a heartbreaker by nature. Your intentions are always good, even if they change with the wind

Do You Follow Your Head or Your Heart?

bored somemore

Your Slanguage Profile

Canadian Slang: 50% Prison Slang: 50% Southern Slang: 50% Aussie Slang: 25% New England Slang: 25% British Slang: 0%

What Slanguage Do You Speak?

oh.. really??

You Are a Mac

You are creative, stylish, and super trendy. You demand the best - even if it costs an arm and a leg.

Are You a Mac or a PC?

boredX2

You are a Self-Discoverer

You're not religious, but you've created your own kind of spirituality. Introspective and thoughtful, you tend to look inward for the divine. You are distrusting of all forms of organized religion. You especially dislike religious gurus and leaders, who you feel are charlatans.

What's Your Religious Philosophy?

bored

You Will Be a Cool Parent

You seem to naturally know a lot about parenting, and you know what kids need. You can tell when it's time to let kids off the hook, and when it's time to lay down the law. While your parenting is modern and hip, it's not over the top. You know that there's nothing cool about a parent who acts like a teenager... or a drill sergeant!

Would You Be a Cool Parent?

oh..

the infinite followings for a title..

yes.. for the music in the background.. and the loungingn feeling i have early in the morning at 11 in the morning.. after breakfast and a nice cuppa.\

no..cos life ain all fine.. alot of misses.. plenty or false hits. alot of stress to come.. and many others i find hard to count..

people i care about.. people who dun care if i care.. pple who care but i dunnoe care.. pple who care too much.. pple who dun care at all. pple who makes me wanna care but later shouts "leave me alone"...

pple i miss..and pple i MISS..

its this sort of reminiscing moment that makes me wonder.. with a life that has so many portholes.. it makes life like a finger and all the grooves.. unique yes.. but sometimes quite a headache.

is there a cure for all these??

perhaps a good greasy spoon breakfast..anyone knows where there is one?
hehe

erm.. thi sis me??

Read my VisualDNA™ Get your own VisualDNA™

not being a sexist ..

really not being a sexist or anything.. but ..

which would you choose??

Aston Martin V8 Vantage??

or

the Lamborghini Gallardo Spyder??

well let me know wat ya think.. who ever pops by..

cos i love both..

sorry but i multi time when it comes to cars. sorry..

its amazing

alot has happend in a week.

lets see..i got attached before.. and then i fell out of love. so to speak..

well for those looking for laugh .. yes i've been ditched.. (long story) will explain if i have the time.

see another friend get hitched in a weird sort of way..kinda like unrequited.. but some how thot i saw sparks... wait.. i meant i THOT i saw..

then when with rachel and benny to cafe del mar for some boring party.. cos the crowd were looking to chill.. so were exactly enthu..then al three of us went for the three circular hold on for your life and spin till you wanna feel like barf-ing thing. glad to say we all survived it.. alot of mad pple went to..

then rachel left early.. so me and benny when to seven 11 to grab some stuff (its cos he owes me a drink) me trying not to break his bank made off with beer,,hah .. anymore than that think he gotta sell his leg i guess.. haha

just kidding.. well we were at seven eleven and we saw this three korean gals not too bad if i should add.. and we exchanged email addresses.. and we were on our way.. oh yah.. and one of them called benny gorgeous..hahhaah

well after all the tulmultuous-ion if there is such a thing..hmmm

well

well..

well....

i ran out.. well see ya..

expectations..

i think my expectations in life.. is unreal..

i feel that one day i may get crush by my eyes.. or in someway.. kinda at least..

well whenever i see something..i have expectations for it.. but wat if it falls short??


and then i move on.. but not all things are disposable.. wat if its something you can't undo??

hmm

well i guess this is ultimately the human process..

lets pop the bubbly.. not just yet..

hmmm.. where should i even begin.. lets see new song..

a new beginning i guess..

well instead of les brown.. i am still sticking to diana krall..wat a relief.. as i was just about to get bored of the songs that i have.. the one playing in the back ground so rescued me..

non of the big swing.. but boy.. she sure sooths me...

well.. enuff of a fabulous singing blonde whom i dunnoe..

recently a frined of mine.. wanted to introduce some gal to me.. and well common sense would tell you that it probably ccrashed and burnt and well wat good could come out of it.. almost,.. and those with common would be able to tell.. that.. yes..it is indeed smoked..

then thinks got here and there.. and now we are platonic.. not a bad feeling.. just a pity considering she is smart and pretty... guys now must be thinking she is some wonder.. but to bad we just dun mix.. so no choice lah..

then a couple a weeks back.. throgh sheer chance i got hitched..this time to an acquaintance for sometime.. well things are warming up.. but not sure how things will go..hmmm we'll see..

its so wierd.. when you like someone.and you hit a wall.. and at times. someone likes you and he or shee hits the wall.. and thats only the beginning.. the endless equations and probability just arouses so many minds out there...

well hope things..

and if someone could.. just comb through my mind..untangle my thots..

and maybe warble alittle of diana krall.into my ears...

till i blog again..

lets pop the bubbly.. not just yet..

wat can i say... i suck..

well ns is not too bad.. kinda getting the hang of it.

and i finally got the platoon t done. thanks to benny for his immense help and his fantastic drawings..

sigh...

ever go out.. meet someone.. then ....

you dun say anything..

sigh..

i feel like some big fat failure..

well i am one to begin with i guess...

hahha

maybe i'll meet someone more alkali metals than noble gases the next time..

just maybe not caesium strong..

haha


well..

till i blog again..

hmm

ns is kinda sucky i have to say..

i mean its easy to pass...

but the experiencing part is a little gut wrenching..

but yes i am grateful for two years worth of free lodging on prime real estate.

but restricted parole and food that taste like i cooked it half awake is hardly the perfect compliments..

only being difficult and picky.. haha

but there are items a plenty that i really love and would still love to have in a place of my own..

the nightly tranquil..

without the noises on the urban city..

lush green growths.. misty mornings..and morning dewy air.


just the other day i was being drilled at night..and whilst in drill i peered toward my right side and caught a rare glimpse some could see but none really savoured.

its the new crecscent.. thin and sleek.. on a dish of sky showered with stars aplenty and over the arrangement of these condiments is a veil of a light rainbow .. pianting the pale moon a multitude of colours.

mesmerizing.

i am in camp.. haha

i am in ns.. so blogs will be less frequent then ever..

to all those who pop by .. thanks and take care..

till i blog again..

erm.. ok..

ok.. i am kinda into horoscopes.. (well not the everyday before i am out of the house that kinda fanatic)

well here is something i saw on friendster.. hmm..

liar??i feel so cheated.. haha..

well i think this must fake except all the good parts... hahah


ARIES - The Liar
Outgoing. Lovable. Spontaneous. Not one
to mess with. Funny. Excellent kisser
EXTREMELY adorable. Loves
relationships, Addictive. Loud. 16
years of bad luck if you do not
forward.

the bad luck part is well..just some silly superstition..hahha:P

till i blog again..

sorry for not blogging for so long..

but my post just cannot make it..

somehow went i post it disconnects.. sigh..

omg..

remember sophie marceau??
melissa theuriau??
nigella lawson??

well these women were and still are in my list of "my gawd!! why aren any ladies i know like them"

well another one to add but this time she is asian..
yummy..

ok that sounded wrong..

she is..



尹乃菁 (for those without mandarin support OR that bloger screwed up again...its Yin Nai Jing)

she is famous taiwanese reporter/ variety show host.

omg..



women need to look more like them.. haha,.. just kidding.

kisses..

smack from reality..

humans are creatures of nature deprivation and defiance.

elaboration in accordance to ince understanding may lead to anothers misunderstanding.

and where upon conflict becomes apparent is when the presence of patience have lacked..

man is in it self at odds with all thats around...with no regard to principle if

strictly pursued. in which case the very basic of their existence..


may happines be bound to all man..

be enlightened and enlighten others...

hmm

just in case i get pelted for not updating again.. here is me updating...


well.. apart fomr my little monitor catastrophe.. nothing special..

and yes.. planning for chalets is fantastic fun.. not.. ..

well you really feel like you could be missing out on something..

like some details.. etc..

the food.. the accommodation..

the place... the the.. the.....

ermmm..



well... i am feeling dreamy..at 3 am in the morning.. one can hardly be any less of it...

well lets see... recently drawn to french comedy.. by christopher aleveque..

hmm

oh

shikes.. this is bad.. i am sorry that i haven updated my blog in ages..

sigh...i am toast..

well more accurately.

its my computer..and i thot i was devastated...

topgear would be gone.. mp3s.. watching dvds...

speaking with friends on msn...

shopping online for sexy underwear.. ooops!!!


nahhh... just kidding..

well its really hairy to have no monitor..

and worse still it kinda blew up... hmm..

haha.. well its imagery warped .. adn well it got worse..

so when you cannot see you will just yearn for but a peek..

haha..

and so my devious head went to work..

and boy was the devious..really devious

..

well instead of my old skool 17" monitor..

which died btw..
i did not swap for another monitor..

instead... i used my projector.. wich kinda makes for a almost 50" screen on th wall..

i have to say... need for speed and grand theft auto never looked soooooooooo good...

well more posts to come.. dun fret..

the hiatus is over...

and all is well..




till i blog again..

hmm.. nice quote. i'm bored..

forgiveness is the fragrance a violet sheds from the heel that crushes it

ok.. ok.. i get it..

ok.. finally got my foot down on something hope it turns out fine
.
.
.
.
and being a considerate blogger i shall change the background music..

cos someone does not know how to appreciate it.. haha..

okok.. just joking...


and another thing.. i am not..for one second a david tao fan..or a jolin fan too.

so if you are to talk to me about them.. please dun blmae me for the blur look..

cos i seriously sotong-ded..

sigh..

turning 21

am i suppose to be afraid.. or am i suppose to be afraid..

a few months ago.. or years ago.. this would be so

i should have yearned so much for this day to come..

but now that it looms closer.. i dread it sorta...



it is suppose to be a phase.. one that is a little bit bigger

than i hoped it'll be..

i dunnoe.. its the one time.. that i sincerely hope for

a simple happy birthday..

well at the same time .. many pple wishing me happy birthday is fun too..

hmm



gosh...

dilemma..

fearsome woman..

quote from pride and prejudice..that an accomplished woman.. in the eyes of mr darcy.. would be truly fearsome..


i have did it again..and this time.. fearfully.. is my second..
not sure how i should put it so i shall be as forth right in so doing as i can..

i admit before i am to let myself crumble and show me as but a shapeless turd upon the lowly floors..that i am infatuous.. as with all and every soul worth being infatuated..

and recently i have met with two woman.. of different backgrounds.. well being different persons it would come as no surprise..with all due respect..they were uniquely attractive..

one is a chatty.. amiable.. simple.. bubbly..trendy..

the other intelligent..well read...well spoken..and also very amiable too..

but both of whom i have a lacking of courage..to put my foot down and spur myself in pursuit..

in both cases.. i was a coward.. a soldier who put circumstances before me and lay a thick hedge form which behind i hid in shame..

i so wish i have the courage to be romantic and take the leap which so many hath taken...

maybe in due time..

out again..

sorry its been soooo long sinced i've blogged.. but work and all else in between has got me pretty slammed..well.. it ain all bad..

two outings not reported yet.. cos after the outings,, i am probably too tired to do anything.. for one. and for the ether well i think i just plain got lazy..

well hung out with val and went to the beach .. andgot roasted further..which is not bad.. if i might add.. i actually look not bad i think..but too bad it'll all go away cos i dun have the opportunity to get tanned all that often..

wellhung out and the beack and went to vivo later for dinner and a movie..death note 2 to be precise.. pretty cool flick ..full of interesting weirdoes.. haha..

then until recently al and i went to the zoo.. and i have to say.. sinapore is tourist friendly man.. such amentities are so not affordable.. wateva the gov says.. but it relaly is a bit steep to step in to the zoo. and those motorised buggies for rent are a hellishly scary 25 a piece for a day.. i can only imagine their profit margin sort of....gosh... well apart fomr which it has a fantastic view of a hugely fantastic reservoir.. cute animals.. mostly not moving or asleep..ducks that respond to my quacking.. a whole tank of cockroaches.. a few pigs.. can't say more cos they smell..haha.. and i was a ehart warming experience relaly to be able to touch and see all these.. knowing and seeing wat the current generation are actually getting..some think fish come from nature all breaded and deboned.. so thinking of gens later.. it could be pretty harsh..

it was a pretty good day if i might add.. fair breeze with the sun beaming slightly.. not like that day at the beach. and i was relaxing thoough at the end endlessly exhauting as well..

dragged myself back.. and snoozed.. thank god the next day it my off day as well.. hahah..

til i blog again.. maybe pics taken in the zoo next time...

i miss you so..

i miss you so.. an endearing statement.. but say it to the wrong gal.. boy it could go so wrong..

not that i have tried.. and not that i am that stupid.. ahah...

well familiar as it is in the song playing ..


well its nice to miss and be miss..

kinda like a moment of anguish .. awaiting the one shine.. the very minute glimmer of hope..

the first rays of sunlight that beams itself into and blows all that overcasts away..in all the glory..

..


tilll i blog again..

me and leiyeng..

P1050540, originally uploaded by pure T.O.N.E..

this is leiyeng.. a friend whom i got to know at sp when i was in cscc.. who is very rpo in japanese haha.. so we were kinda thinking of hanging out and gotta find something original.. in the end its some picnic at sentosa.. cos we were really bored.. and in the end we looked like lobsters.. and we went home shortly after...hehe
hhhahah..


roasting nicely.. soon to come.. peeling episode.. aha..

wat a way to go..

Image(752), originally uploaded by pure T.O.N.E..

k.. normal day at work.. and suddenly this perons you see hear looms in to view.. wow.. haah..

well she is yiying.. aka bunnyy.. dun ask me about the "yy" figure it out yourself.. haha.. well.. well i only knew her from my cousin yawwy.. and we never ever met.. but then through sheer dumb luck.. we bumped into each other and met up during the weekneds for dinner..

so it was meet up at p.s.

dined at fish and co. @ the glass house.. got seats up stairs.. did not know it was open..

and later deserts at haagen daz @holland v..

then it was drop and home..fun..

meeting someone i never meet before..

need to do this more often
haha

just in case..

Image(749), originally uploaded by pure T.O.N.E..

to fulfill the curious few who wish to see the after math.. well this is it.. relaly moody.. like.. one faint breathe of air moving and you'll DIE.. hahah..


well.. it was fun..

drawing hand??

Image(748), originally uploaded by pure T.O.N.E..

ok.. its new years eve.. areally old piece here.. and sory but photobucket is really irritating.. well apart fomr the irate thing well com kinda went hay wire abit.. maybe its a little new.. need to be run in.. sorta.. this is Eunice and she was my kindergarten classmate.. very embarassing stuff.. but enuff about that.. well..new years eve and she ain too happy..cos we were doign uno stacko.. and she got drawn cos she fell it twice.. then we got too tired.. and i buggered off.. cos it was late.. sort off.. ahhaha..

hope she does not kill me.. haha

Flickr

This is a test post from , a fancy photo sharing thing.

omg.. is that a lobster.. haha

today went out with valerie..a colleague from work..

at sentosa..

met in the morning.. both very sleepy.. haha

and i was late.. a rarity if i might add.. most of the time i am early.. ahah

well went to sentosa and lazed about in the sun..

yummy.. ahha..

chips and drinks.. with loads of crap..

and the sun was so playing with us.. we moved in to the shade and not too soon after

it shifts out and we are in the glaring sun again..

really roasting stff.. if i could withstnad high heat..

i would have turned into char siew.. which i have sort off..

and so have valerie.. hehe...

then fomr snetosa we walked abotu in vivo..

grabbed a bite and headed home..

tired...


yawnx..

well bellly late.. gotta shleep..

till i blog again..

sorry for the hiatusand not updating but photobucket is darn arse soddingly slow..

so bear with me please.. alot to come..and its snowballing really bad.. sorry.

erm.. seduction.. caa someone else do it..