a long post.. well not really.. just try to read it in bits..

long title i know.. but its an even longer post..



Chisel on wood
Pen on paper
Thorn to flesh
Splinter in my mind.

There are many things in many pples heads... every moment of everyday in every second is a finite count that seems to drain us off and send us forward… supposedly.

Sometimes I feel the world is fake and that it is falling apart... well at times I feel this cannot be too far from the truth. Everyday we are to be faced with and face things which may be of favour to us...Or not. In all this ramblings it seems some thing seems to be missing. Well it is... Wat is lost is a singular… a constant... And a starting point for our reference…

A beacon for us to look back at and think.. how far things have come..

Had a day today as I had any of my days alone. To some it’s miserable. And to be absolutely honest.. I think so too. Its those days where is aimless.. Although there are things you want to do but it seems like beside it... Its seemingly empty.. A likened void..

Woke up made a fruit blend.. For breakfast and got my day started.... I turned on the radio and on it is pink martini… still thankful to Heidi for having put it up on her wish list. And as I listened.. I swept and after which I slummed on the couch waiting for time to come when I would pick up my things and head out. To those who know me.. Which I doubt are many,… I am hardly homely... Not sure why... But I grabbed a book and I headed out.. to a café where I took a seat next to the window with my coffee and a slice of cake before I set out on this journey in my book in my mind…

Came home later and found myself wishing time would just pause... And that some moments would last. Like in photographs... But only in real life. Then we would walk by and not look at clocks.. Not look at watches... Or ask about time...

Thoughts…sheer fantasy I seriously hoped.

Went jogging… with my dad today. But wasn’t in my mood to jog today… seem something is missing.. Felt like my life is a mess.. Since birth things have never really worked out…well most of the time... It just seems as though I have been blundering through all my life... And until today I feel….I am but nothing…. With nothing to have shown for my twenty years on this planet...