i'm crushing on you..ok.. do you prefer me to sit..or stand..

i think i am a hopelessly sinfull romantic..

alittle self confessed.. well i digress..

or issit digest..




tonite i dined alone..it was really. not the best way about it..

but so far.. its been... ermm..

well a nice hot bowl of broth.. singapore tryign to be western style..

not good..

then some lamb chew..i mena some stew.. and the lamb was good.. just not th stew..

well its alittle ewww... ooh.. chew.. stew.. and ewww..

ok... then had a nice cuppa coffee.. nicely steaming up the window i sat next too..

and then pple stream by.. and i went back to spectator mode.. enjoying the meal with

a full view of wat pple are doing..

pple playing chess.. or tryin to.. and it was hilarious..

well.. i am imagining i am with someone..but its creepy.. haha

okok..



well it was good food.. sort off.. and then this punk "from amsterdam" or so he announces.. and chewing on the "shit" called the waitress..i sympathise with her .. really i do.. she has done no wrong to serve him.. and he was this singaporean junky who wanted to sit in my "imaginary friends" seat.. so i said sure..

only to regret itsoon enuff..
he was quite disagreeable..and i think i'll end there...

well that was dinner.. and i am taking a slow stroll in the rain..
got my mag and my dvd.. and off i got home..

i wish its like in the lake house.. or you've got mail... or sleepless in seattle.. maybe not sleepless in seattle... or breakfast in tiffany's...

oh.. gosh...

and i think for once..

wat does time have to do with that..

in an age when i kno not wat i am doing..

i did.. wat was deemed to be not to be done..

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trailing thots on a trickle..

relax

saw this on the net.. and i thot this would be perfect..

especially if the date was boring you could just sleep it off..

imagine gymnopedie playing in the back ground..

or perhaps soothing diana krall warbling by your ears..

as you lay with your sould all ears as you waft off to rest..

the only spoiler would be perhaps if someone snored at the concert..

but this is still great..


if only something like this could be in singapore..

wafting... wafting... zzzzZZZZ....



hehe

crushed.. ep :1

those who have read my blog.. would know i am infatuous..

about everything really.. from the calla lilies to one point

the renault avantime..

and most of the time my crushes aren't regretted.. thank god..



well this post is going to be about one of the frst few of my life..

so to speak anyways...

fomr the peugeot to a citroen..

to a girl i saw on television..

this would be quite literary speaking.. my first crush on a girl..

in real life..

embarrassingly enuff it occured in kindergarten.. at 5...

i've to say.. i think ihave good taste.. haha.. nah.. just kidding..

well it was the age of when i have not even know how to spell "love"

and i would write this girl notes of how i "heart" her...


"heart" of course was drawn with great attention to detail (ya .. like real..)

well notes like this must have shocked the poor girl to death..

think stalker .. haha..

come to think of it.. it is mighty scary... haha

well...


--------------------14 year later------------------------


here i am heading out to meet my friend whom i knew from attachment..

adn she said she was going to bring her boyfriend along..i was like.. ok..

and she said her boyfreinds sister was coming too..

i was thinking. knowing new pple ain that bad..

and then terror struck..


i saw my friend's boyfriend's sister and to my shock and horror..

she was the very same i had a crush on..

and well i was all awkward that evening.. and dinner was a hard swallow from choking..

haha..

well she turned out to be a very fine lady. thank god..

and one more think..

she mentioned that when i was in kindergarden i did a "hit and run"


which i had no recollection of.. apparently.. but.. if i did that.. gosh..

my first kiss ( "hit and run" refers to giving someone a thimble and running off)... oh....haa..

well.. i never born any tinge of such thing happening and i'll cross my heart

and hope to die..



its kinda funny thinking back.. i was an idiot.. still am one... maybe a bigger one still..

but those were the times when the feelings were direct.. and with no hesitation..

candid and true i guess...

not that i should mean much..but thinking of it.. makes the corner of my lips just

curl up that wee little bit..

you filled my heart with no regrets..

ever wondered why songs are mostly about love??

well maybe cos its irrational..

and unexplained..so they could write all sorts of rubbish about it,

well.. the thing is.. why issit so harD??

or issit cos its too basic thats why its so hard??

why are they so many books on love this love that..

why men and women this..

why men this and why women that..

why why why...

and sometimes not with the most rational of answers..

if you spouse is not in the mood to speak... leave him alone??

wat the hell?

so you two will be like stone statuettes?? waiting to dry up and blow away??

gosh...





well if only love it simple..

like simply simple..

not the wishy washy ones now..

if only..




toking nonsense..

the world is so small..

today was like seeing jensen button in singapore

who hands you the keys to his cars cos he has too many

and more in montecarlo or somethign and he signs your forehead

and at the same time you striek 4d lotto and everyother form of

money quick thing..


well it was a really hairy day today..

part scary part alofty sort..

well i went out to dine with my friends michelle

and with her boyfriend and his sister..

and this is when the big bombshell fell..

gosh..


she was my classmate in kindergarden..

omg. and worst still.. she was the one i had a crush on..

and wrote love notes to at the age of 6..

honestly i could have shot myself then..

and i regretted asking.. well almost..

but thank god it was all well and she was more chatty..

eloquent and essentially different..

in a good way..

most of the night went by with

jokes and crap..

ice breakers and jaw breakers??

a night tummy ache from all the laughing..

gosh it was good..

and yes...it still is a small world..

and i kinda like it..




yawnz...

gotta go sleep..

shopping with ladies..

you know pple.. why issit so hard..

its so hard cos they is just too much to chooose..

yes... even for one store..

women can deal with multiple tasks but not multiple choice

it seems..

well correct me if i'm wrong..but this would mean mcq is definitely not their strengths

hehe..

well..was out with my mum today..

decided to spoilher abit.. so got her a louis vuitton..

but take this..

it took her five full hours..

before she settled on the speedy..

which happne to be her initial choice..

argh..


but well at least its doen and over with and my mum is happy with it..

great..

too bad could not get my dad the lv taiga wallet..cos not enuff slots..

sigh..

i wonder why shopping with women is so hard..

or maybe its just my mum.. haha.. oops..



happy holidays..

late in the night..

late in the night.. with hot tea next to me..

soothing piano jazz.. tenderly massaging ears..

while i hammer away on my keyboard...

its was an exhausting day..


and i guess seeing pple around me kinda affects ..

irene is kinda bubbly.. so happy..

alena was happy in the morning.. uplifting..

linda was smiley as always..hehe

then there was farah and junni..

yati and agnes..

agnes especially.. happiness derived from wacking me.. sadist..hehe..

just kidding..

but on the whole all i am saying is that.. pple smiling about me..

makes thigns light.. and work not so unbearable..

how i wish days are liek these..

happy at work..

work work..

work.. work..

be happy to..

well look at these two phrases aren't they apt..

(try saying them in the dopey gormless way like the orc peons in warcraft III)

we live in society that needs to be united as one..

think communism.. but has everyone in it crumbling for the fresh burst of freedom..

its inevitably humane..

and wat not..


well its been pretty the same .. life can;t really change much over night..

just got soem damn letter from mindef stating that i have six months more to go..

a lifetime.. fantastic..

well.. wat ever does c9 l3 means?? it sounds like i am so close to pes D..

hmm..which meant i am still at square one..

well work wise.. can;t be better..

guess y superior wasn;t in her best of moods..

but i got bloody blasted for trying to ensure that the customer

gets their package to morrow and she scowls at me for skiving...

perhaps she is being angsy about something else..

but she is so chewing on the wrong end of my already short temper..

which today seemed a tad longer. maybe cos i am tired..

sigh..


please...hope tomorrow is better..

quote of the day..

never had something like that .. but just thot it would be worth putting up..

"It is only with the heart that one can see rightly; what is essential is invisible to the eye."

if only we could see beyond flesh and unearth wats beneath.. the whole race of living beings would have taken up another shape.. and set to mold generations to come.. much better...

nirvana..

friendly?? yes.. friendly

work is as always..

all of a sudden i felt like i saw myself..

not like some mirror..

its like time flew back..

and i am out back in my post o's ..

working..

well recently its the hols.. and x mas is soon..

and many with too much time on their hands have turned to finding work..

and now in the bookstore i work in ..

came the youngsters.. if you will..

well i have aged.. that i do not deny..

and seeing these pple.. i guess i just let it

set in concrete..


well had loads of fun.. with them.. great bunch.. bubbly.. cutesy..

babbly... nonsensical.. somehow .. but endlessly fun..

had fun yesterday..

after work..

we had some

pictures taken

here are the shots..


this is Hidayah..and well that is me on the right..


this is Irene.. and AGAIN i am on the RIGHT..

ok we'll see when we see...and til i blog again.

indulgence..

how do porcupines mate??

very carefully.. OUCH!!

i think thats y we dun see

many around..


--------- Mindless Monday Morning --------------




she led me round the bush..

a rose bush at that..

she led me to a blush..

but beneath me i'm glad..

with glee her grin, and pearly whites..

set my dreams and hopes aflight..

a lingering finger, down a scarve

a touch so soft..but once left.. i craved more aft..


By,

Brethren Coulter

halo pple.. halo..

you know how car makers make certain models of the cars..

the supreme .. the above all..the absolute..

the magnificent..

well

ferrari is a company that not only did a halo car..

buying their entry level vehicle would mean

you have alot of paper..some where..

well.. they once built this car called the ferrari enzo..

it was sensational.. and till now its still a halo car

for a whole new gen of car lovers..


looking superbly radical with its f1 style inspired nose..

and its really nice pert rump.. it was absolutely a joy..

and having seen it life.. gosh..


well the thing is.. that with its f1 style manual sequential

gearbox and the bespoked tyres by bridgestone. together with an all new

6.0 liter v 12 and ceramic brakes all round .. phenomenal aerodynamics

which creates negative lift... and it creates amazing cornering forces..

its semi monocoque carbon fibre tube is light enough to be lifted with one hand..

and the practical add on off a hydraulic lift system to prevent its hugely gorgeous

chin from being scraped...(ouch!!)

well knowing how rich humans can be..( its almost liek they print the stuff..wait..

they DO.. just that it isn;t give to everyone..)well come buggers became so rich

they buy such cars liek the enzos and somethign happens..



the thing is this.. pples driving skills it seems does not get much better with

the thickening of the wallets it seems..

and maybe at some point that thick wallet slid up their A@#E.. cos bloody hell

its automotive history... give some respect man.. and with only 499 units..

please.. gosh..


well these uber alot of money pple.. drove too fast and are quickly recking a hugely

fantastic piece of art and a milestone in human history.. so please..

SAVE THE ENZOS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

float and fly..

pple leap and hope to god that they could fly..

sometimes.. i feel like i am already flying..

infatuous me..

issit bad..

i admit it..i am infatuous..

i fall head over heels over alot of things and pple..

i take dives that may be too deep.. and on the verge

of suffocation i make for surface..

..

some call it foolish.. others pioneering..

well i call it and enigma..

i dunnoe why i do it.. i just do it..

and it happens to everything..

a desgner couch form natuzzi..

the mulberry roxanne..

the pagani zonda

and these above are jsut the touch and goes..

soon they fade and move on..

some dwell on and continue to swirl on in my head

like a heady muscat ..with its scent captures your soul..

and taste that tangles your tongue in twines

and sensations never before felt..

...

i am in the midst of so many..

i feel to lucky..

at times.. yet at other i feel

like suffocation..

because i find it so hard to settle..

on something..

i fear.. for love.. for lost..for regrets..

the one biggest thing i dread in my life..

another knot to unravel..




till i blog again..

i like style..

style and sophistication..

who doesn't liek it..

isn't that why we have pple like karl lagerfield..

marc jacobs..or phillipe stark..

these pple virtually sculp the way we perceive this concept..

but somehow in real life..

not all forms of style and sophistication is well taken in

i or maybe in its most abstract.. it would be the oddities at

individual traits.. cos i believe our traits are wat the trends evolve from..

but no one ever takes it in like a consumer item..

we still live in a society of ostracisms and

diferentiation( not the mathematic sort)..

world peace.. is noble.. but futile..

because unless men stop thinking about ones benefit and gains..

eg, money, economy, politics.....

we will be constantly at war with our own kind..



men are wrecking men..

issit nature or nurture??

hear her speak

I never thought I'd land in pictures with a face like mine.

If I blow my nose, it gets written all over the world.

If I get married, I want to be very married.

Remember, if you ever need a helping hand, it's at the end of your arm,
as you get older, remember you have another hand: The first is to help
yourself, the second is to help others.

Success is like reaching an important birthday and finding
you're exactly the same.

For beautiful eyes, look for the good in others; for beautiful lips,
speak only words of kindness; and for poise, walk with the knowledge
that you are never alone

Your heart just breaks, that's all. But you can't judge, or point fingers.
You just have to be lucky enough to find someone who appreciates you

The best thing to hold onto in life is each other

People, even more than things, have to be restored, renewed, revived,
reclaimed, and redeemed; never throw out anyone

You can always tell what kind of a person a man really thinks you are
by the earrings he gives you

I don't want to be alone, I want to be left alone













all the above is said by one lady..

so now wats with that hear women roar thing??

leopard print?? dun think so..try this instead..

wat a guy..

wat a guy.. wat a #!@# of a guy..

think a four letter word and shaft in in there.. not too far fomr the truth or makes any sense as it is....

i must declare that at this point i am in abit of a high due to alittle after dinner drink i had..not intoxicated .. but just a tad tipsy..

before i begin..

"how does one become a butterfly???"

"one must be willing to give up being a caterpillar??"

makes anysense??

you tell me..

well todya is like any other.. alittle less stressed than yesterday ..

and an inch more to knowning how i am to others..

it seems..to some of the people i met i look old... ok fine...

then today.. my colleagues at work said i look like some playboy..

er...


well look at it this way... i am old and a philanderer..

does that now make me some one like hugh hefner?

old could be mistaken for wiser...

but a flirtish, philandering and frivolous playboy??

come on.. wat good could come out of that.. unless you are

like joey from friends who think that abysmal is great...

and i'll have you know it does not mean its unfathomable..

well.. i look like an old flirt..

sigh..

well i should be thankful that my friends who have born with

it for that much.. i thank you..

from an old flirt.. haha


cheers..

till i blog again..

hmmm.. wat should i type..

its just an occasional drop by..

a regular session

with the numbers jumping

and my hairs greying..

and my stubbles been shaved..

and pple still searching google for myloh in search or some canine..

well its been better i guess..

day were really fun liek that day when i hung out with pammy and her white monkey..

had great fun in coffee bean getting cosy and watching anime..

felt like we own the place..

(pics to come later)

we were in the couch until our bums have moulded their contours into the couches

when we left..hehhe..

followed by more movie watchign and anime at her place..

it was very leisurely..

had laughs and teases while we were glued to punks fighting

then after we joined her sis outside looking at burj-al-arab on discovery..

which is seriously overly publicised..yawnz**

followed by dinner at oh sho.. but the noodles were fantastic..

or perhaps my tongue was off..

cos i adore their ramen normally..



fuzzy warm feeling..

omg.. wth... anything else that has three letters that you'll shout out when exasperated

to today i saw

a cute coffee bean plush..- yet another good x mas gift idea

a cute barista at coffee bean..

a lovely pair of heels..

a guy who wore a t-shirt that said.. you scratch my c**tch I'll scratch yours..

a lady with three kids.. but looks more like a horse with three breakers..
cause she was dragged here and there..

a really tiny pc..

a nice car with a bad driver..

a quiet road with only one vehicle on.. (i was in it)

someone who was wearing the same shirt as me

a girl who is taller than me.. OMG...

many girls or woman shorter than me.. (thank god)

BUT.................................................................

all the above are really quite irrelevant..

the worst was when i was at the barbers..he was actually from somewhere near

my place and some how he ended up at the tampines branch

adn so he started about his job and etc..

turns out he does it part time..

and it was his interest his skill and also conveniently a means of supplementary

income..

this.. however was not the end... he continued on about

working and his pay and his kids which lead to "how about you??".....

"do you have kids??"

i was like nope..(WAT IN THE NAME OF ALL THAT IS HOLY IS HE TOKING ABOUT??)

then he was like must be hard working shifts cos

i was off on a monday.. (observant but still ..DO I HAVE KIDS??)

i have had pple ask me if i was married or attached.. but kids..?? come on..

COME ON!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

later through his ramblings i noticed something.. as he cut..

more hair piled up infront of me on the cloth that they wrap me up with and its alot

of white hair..

and i was thinking..shit...i must suffering from premature aging..

first the hair..then the eyesight.. then the hearing.. memory..

the lot would pile on a 20 year old stuck in a 59 year old body...

ARGHHHH!!!

in anycase..to pple who know me..or dun know me.. i ain attached..

although i'd like to but..

not marry

not have kids

not at this age..



well at least i am young at heart..... am i???

you are the one...

just in case some one thot they come to the wrong site..

well nope jsut changed the music. cos i love it alot..

and well the how ain bad..

living with fantics of the who.. somehow. it'll rub off

sooner if not .. later...

..


made it sound like a disease..which is not too far..

off..

but i have t say.. its like having influenza and loving it..

cos the show ain all bad..



just that the guy was a piece of SH*T

and the hard constipated solid like granite sort..

but i have to say this sassy thing has to move on..

too much sassy..please somethig else please...


and could someone tell me how do you apply P.S. in a letter??

and please dun tell me princess sophie..or prioy of sion..

cos i may just make you pick your nose with your hand through you asshole up your intestines out and out your mouth..hmmph..

oops.. alittle uncontrolled back there,,,

hehe

till i blog again..(in a buzz lightyear "infinity and beyond fashion")

i am so in love..

In the silence of the garden
Moss arizing on the wind
And the beast is pondering love love love
'Till the rusty nail grow dim

(Chorus)
I can't seem to make you mine
Through the long and lonely night
And I try so hard, darling
But the crowd pulled you away
Through the rhythm and the rain
And the ivy coiled around my hand

So I lingered with the people
In the silent August glade
But the rain has brought the night
And the night has brought the rain

(Repeat Chorus)

a look and i was poisoned..
a stare and you caught me..
we break into laughs with each catch of the eye..
i'm yours.. you're mine..

in your hair i smell
a thousand blossoms do dwell..
a whiff sends me adrift..
a lofty dream... a scented gift..

to hold you close... i hope..
to see you true... i hope..
to feel your joy.. i hope..

of such many to say..
theres only this much i an convey..
in words..no matter fluent it seem..
only in reality.. does its true worth deem..

i am in it deep..

was in vivocity today..

huge place.. not that big really..

but yes its huge.. and still remembered that day

when yanny told me she got lost... haha

well knowing her.. it was possible. haha..

ok just kidding.. i would have been lost too if i went thorough the whole thing..

which incidentally i did not...

just there for lunch with my parents and my siblings..

crystal jade again.. but food was different.. and the deco and ambience was not bad..

but only qualm would be the crowd..



i know its a weekend and everthing.. but it was really crowded..

like you'd see someone just next to you with every bat of your eyelids..

buts its just me.. cos i like things clam i guess..

but in the end all is well it was easy to deal with and after walking round

we finally got home..

oh and right before we left in the elevator.. i heard this woman tell her

kid of a son.. that its so hard being him...

cos he is so short and would be in full proximity of a fart blast

if some one is to ever let go...

i was so on the edge of bursting out..

enuff of craps..

till i vblog again..

Yesterday I got lost in the circus
Felling like such a mess
Now I'm down I'm just hanging on the corner
I can't help but reminisce
When you're gone all the colors fade
When you're gone no New Year's Day parade
You're gone
Colors seem to fade

Your mama called she said that you're down stairs crying
Feeling like such a mess
Yeah I hear you you're in the background bawling
What happened to your sweet summertime dress

I know we all, we all got our faults
We get locked in our vaults and we stay
But when you're gone all the colors fade
When you're gone no New Year's Day parade
You're gone
Colors seem to fade
Colors seem to fade
Yeah

amos lee..




more on more things in my want list..

die.. this month already boken to bits.. how how how ... HOW???

sigh..

corrine bailey rae album..
amos less album..
sandals..(current pair just tried to kill me)

i think alot more to come..

and maybe also the alfa romeo 8c competizione... haha


xianz

clouds..

snapped this on my phone .. forgotten when where.. just remebered..

i was down.. or felt like just staring at the outside rather than

the endless frazzle from the radio and taxi driver's speedo..

much less the meter..

well i feel so at peace when i look at this picture..

somehow i feel i am blessed to be able to see that moment in stills.

i could at it all day..

or maybe just once in a while..



natures miracles..

sorry to sound so down..

but listening to x japan at the moment..

and its quite sad song.

esp the part that says "dry your tears with love"




nature.. or human..

yummy

yummy yummy yummy you're at the back of my tummy and i feel like loving you..

love is somethign that too good to eat.. and the rest i forgot...

well hungry.. or rather just craving..

but big one
...

its so wow..


hahaha

well here is the biggie..

hahah

see below..

hahah


me so eager.. to chow.. hahhahah.. yum yum yum....


jsut before me chow.. COOKIE!!!! umyummyumyumyumyumyum yum.. haha
The two on the top are SMOTHERED in MOZARELLA CHEESE with FINE SEA SALT and a little BLACK PEPPER..
<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<<>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>>
and the rest are ALL toasty and warm with zesty LEMON BUTTER...



heaven ... i'm in HEAVEN..

*rubb belly

russian dolls..

the last one..

issit?

men now aren't as they were before...

well its like so many men go through women like clothes to find

"THE ONE"

well ideally.. we all hope.. that the eventuality

would be that it starts andd end with that one...

well..

if only all men could be a geekoid and still end up with someone like kelly reilly

isn;t she a beaut.. gosh.. so kewl man.. love the feathers..

terry richardson rox..

men are needy to..

i suddenly realise.. men who are needy.. are not really rare.. in fact its really real..

so women out there.. please just try to get it ..

i mean women can be independant..but does it actually mean that men could really be eradicated..

as women become more independant.. and in some extremes more masculine..

well but if thats the case.. i guess men are goign to turn the other way..

unless its a whole world full of alpha males..

well ain't all that..

right??

ok maybe not.. haha....

well its a piece of rambling .. but pinch of salt or pennies.. either case..

its not about men rule.. or watever.. but just leave them alone kinda..

well it would great to have some really woman to jsut voice right out about the sorta men they want..

so.. here there.. where.. watever..

much to tok about..

i am happy i have sisters who could be frank with me and that i have co workers to share the burden

even though i still find it hard to believe that pple find me arrogant or worse a snobb.. whichever is worse..

well recently i havesome small pap tok with my sista about my future.. and it dawn on me that i have taken much for granted with loads more to see and to do...

i have always been miserable.. and honestly i have been a coward and pretty useless..

i hate to say this but i kinda hate myself at this instant i am typign this...

i just hope days would get better and that i will be able to fulfill wat i set out to do and to be done..


thanks to all who put up with my stupidity and absurdity..








am i good enuff??

wat to do...

mooching around..

wat to do.. i feel no urge to gedout..

..'

so right now in front of my com sipping tea..

relaxing and seeing top gear..

andd thinking wat i may do next..

and wat i am doing..

i mean going out.. there is the jams and crowds the mess.. the hassle..

and at home its a bore..

i mean even playing games get boring..

i so wish i could be picnicing somewhere.. greenish and cool..

think.. chequered picnic spreadsheet... on dewy lush greenery

and a tad of a breeze enuff to rustle the bookpages

and a slight warmth from the orange mellow sun..

and perhaps glorious scenery..

a basket of smoked meats cheeses and fresh fruit

and maybe some birds chirping

loved ones around..

lazing then with a book in my hand..

kids playing ball (wait... this is too far.. HAHAHAH)

well i am straying..

like i said i am bored..

maybe a 350z spyder would be goood.. (anyone wants to do some charity??..hehe)

cheers..

strike me with lightning .. something.. anything!!!

well not really.. lightning is higly risky.. and anything else may lead to a concussion..

even if not.. it will hurt an ass alot..

please let me hear wat woman want.. let me be mel gibson..

haha

ok.. not the old .. bachelor.. not married.. possibly gay part..

but the galant chauvinistic part..and the charimatic part..

but.. big BUT>... its not meant to be..

hahha

well men are like not women..

men think it.. do it.. and that is about it..

women.. may think something.. do something else. and have a wry expression that is suppose to be read..

to a guy its like reading barcode without a barcode reader..

but issit that hard for ppple to not play games..

ouch..

well its a like oswald spengler and his endless philosophy..

mostly pessimistic..

..


but the fact is.. it would be nice..

just so..

going back to my pasta and my rental..

bon chance..

preposterous...

the weather it seems is really bad.. i mean.. not so much weather.. but more the haze.. its stagnant..
and honestly scary.. crikes.. got knows how much of these exhausted carbon compounds get into our
lungs..and they seem to be all still regardless or wat goes into them.. so they are too tiny??

well.. i was feeling horrible. cos of my sinus , coughing, phlegm, feeling horribly bad syndrome... sigh..

so i took a cab.. thinking of goign home in relative comfort.. which it was.. and with much
certainty that the driver would
do the regular routes.. i just told him.. PIE thanks.. cos the CTE would be normally jammed with pple..

so off we zipped.. this uncles cab must have been empty for quite abit.. coos it was so cool.. as in the temp.
normally cabs in orchard have a smell about them.. or that the seats are a little warm etc.. bbut this was like
sub zero.. totally in my mood..
and better still this guy listens to jazz.. as in not random radio or crappy uncle stations..
i mean i could hear michael buble andd diana krall..wow.. this guy is really something..

then later came the shocker....

i was robbed!!!!!!.. not..



hahah

but well he drove from PIE into the mount pleasant slip road..which is freak creepy..

imagine about 11 ish at night.. ouch..

and its a single lane.. dimly litted place..

looking all dilapidated and uncared for until a closer glimpse

showed me wat really lay behind the hedges and overgrowths..

gravestones...

and also ancient relicts of singapore heritage.. the black and white bungalows..

but somehow seeing kids playing about at that time of the night in front of such a place

jsut rattles my spine abit.. so i just looked the other way and let the the drive and music

sooth it out.. which it did..

it was kinda spooky.. but kinda nice too..

its like sipping a mojjito in a cozy jazz bar.. and relaxing in one corner.. just then.. some vampish looking hostess coms along and ask you.. how is your evening.. breaking the serenity... alikened some wicked witch slamming her knuckles into some wretched mirror.. ahah..

welll slightly nicer..

the purse

found the "culprit"..



wat do you?? or rather wat CAN you put in it..?

well the obvious of course.. air..

haha

its hard..

its hard to find a nice blog skin..

its hard to find niceties... nowadays..

well.. they are some..

and did anyone mention.. how most woman keep their bills straight??

as in their notes.. their paper money.. their.. watevers..

well..and some other woman.. please buy a purse..i mean a wallet thingy..

i mean.. honestly..some women just like to cramp notes into really puny

purses..

eg.. some woman today cranked a few 100 dollar bill..big word.. a "FEW"

and her purse is kinda like a change holder you'd get for $59 dollars from cartier.

first it slows the queue.. when you ravage that small "dried-up scrotal sac" of a purse..

for a bill.. next it crumples up and cranks up the cash register...

and its fine with big notes.. but those plastic two dollar notes are like

pple with rigor mortiss-ed fingers..and it take a ga zillion tonne of presssure

before that bill... "straightens out"..


and guys use your wallet..dun stuff it into your pockets like used tissue paper..

well.. i hope i do practice this also.. well i do.. mostly..



p.s. i found x mas morning.. but too bad it ain it.. cos i ain good enuff.. so maybe lets hope.. there are others..

maybe a change of holiday is needed..

haha..

well wishes..

something of interest...

oh sexism... ...

wth...

noticed i've been using this one with utmost frequency..

i am kinda off key.. off.. alot of things.. well.. things seem alright..

seem cos.. thigns are hardly on their own.. and some how thee whole domino is falling..

and alot of the not in control part.. makes me wanna tear my hair out.. somewat..

there is always this animosity that exist between the environment i am in and me..

quite simply i would be better off dead.. well at least the thot is on my mine.. quite often..


i mean i have friends. but sometimes i wonder.. are they?? i try not to doubt.. but sometimes
my insecurities gets the better of me..

well work could not be better.. i mean the work like work work.. its the everything else about work

that is getting through my neck and out my throat..

cos i dunnot know how to please pple around me i guess..

shikes..

everything starts with "s" and ends with a "t" and it isn;t soot..

its like being hung over a gigantous bed of 15 inch sharp needles.. and all you have is that spiderweb for

thread holding it out...

any moment.. it may snap and me to my "INEVITABLE"..

and then i still would have to be at work..

so its work as usual..

wat a way to put it..

nuclear..

omg..is it me..

out that day.. lunch.. thot wat the hell..
should be able to handle it.. but it turn out
i was so wrong..

so so wrong..

turned up at carls jr.. instead of the reg sandwich bar sorts. and i gave in to my temptations.. hahaha..

well its time.. for my appetite to shrink..i was there deciding..
should i or should i not.. in the end i did.. i ordered the new
pastrami double.. and ouch it was fantastic.. it was really meat
lovers fantasy.. it was so meaty.. it was to die for.. then i realised..
after the burger i was doned.. i had no more space left..
i am stuffed..brimmed.. out.. ..


well enuff of my gastronomic happening...s


well pple out there. i have to admit.. that i am officially weird..

i fell in love with something i know i should not have...

pple normally see me like some sick pile when i blabber on about romance..

and right now i thing it just got worse..as in new stuff like you've got mail

wat women want.. lake house... etc etc is cheesy and romantic and so mushy that

no man macho enuff would be able to stomach.. well..

i am officially smitten by elizabeth bennett..

quite like mr collins.. except perhaps he is alittle more dope than me,,

or perhaps i am taller.. hahaha


well elizabeth bennett is the lead from "pride and prejudice"

and i was never into these.... it was kinda boring to me.. but

it was amazing.. all off a sudden i felt like i was kathleen kelly

from you've got mail.. "i've read pride and prejudice about 500 times.."

well not that many times.. but it was amazing.. kinda obtuse.. but

plenty satisfying for a gush nut like me..

too bad i am not mr darcy material.. sigh..well at least i am not mr. wickham..



for all the mr and misses.. please just read it.. i'll know you;ll love it..

till i blog again..

i am dead.. beat that is..

contract at work is soon to end..

or to be started again..

the singapore government.. or rather mindef's "efficiency" is pretty doubted..

i mean how long does it take for something like a piece of paper to reach one end of the island to the other..??

well in mindef's words.. two months.. quite testy..agonizing even i should guess..

well.. lets see... chances are i am goign in for ns.. around next year.. or worse.. during christmas..

then here comes.. the other part.. my contract is to end.. but should i continue or not.. well something

knocked me on the hollow pot i so heave around and call my head.. i actually said i wanted to go on..

well its not all bad..

well eventually i would take a break before i finally go to ns..

in the mean time it would be work work..and work..



...

time shall tell...

the search is still on..sigh.. stil on..

misc misc..

AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!


i so wanna die right now. i was thinking of her... her.. and her.. and more her.. and still her..


i slept at 4 last nite..


and if it weren;t my dad i would be still in front of my com watching brainiac and top gear blabbering away...

well.. i feel like a ripple in a pond.. and some person .. not really a moron.. but yes.. imagine someone periodically throwing..and the ripples keep getting bigger andd bigger.. and as it swells.. it gets worse.. i feel i wanna die..

its like dangling a ball infront of a cat.. i am the cat.. and she would be some thing kinda like the ball??and i am dead...

dying.. can someone kill me please..wack me with a perogi ...gosh...

....


well... please spare me.....


i dunnoe if i miss things or i dread missing them.. somehow i kinda feel its beeen a chunk of me.. sorta...


..

boring me to tears??nah.. not a chance..

before i start.. condolences to those.. who are missed..

they may have moved on.. but the footprints are never erased in our memories..




ok wake up time.. 0800.. almost.. abit later. wel but still around there.

then brushed up.. watch some tv..had orange juice and chips..

hmm.. yummy..



then i was in my room trying to fix up my com.. which miraculously got jolted back to life. fomr whic i am able to blog in comfort of a full sized keyboard..ahhhhh
then did some sketching.. trying to one day be able to do like wat those chunks at pininfarina do soooooo well..

i mena the p4/5 glickenhaus is wat the enzo should have been.. its just amazing..
well my alol time fav is still the bugattis atlantique...ever faithful..everlasting lines.. or fine craftsmanship.. if only i could but sit in and get smothered in the deep depths of sumptous leather in your interior..gosh dream come true..

later got to town.. fav spot for a cuppa and some bites followed by mr clarkson once again..loved his style.. if thats the word for it.. but seriously its funny all in the right spot.. maybe just for me.. but if mr bean was funny.. he's not too far..


well olio is as usual.. quiet with an ocasionl clink or metal on china.. but the entire place has this really provincial feel to it..ecept its air conditioned with not outgrowned vines and chirpping chafinches or watever they are...but then it got a little too crowded .. so went to catcha flick called click...

laughed mostly but cried at this one scene when adam sandler is about to die and he handed his wife a note .. it was so sweet... and so tear jerking.. i burst...


nice feeling to cry..its like everythign is goign to be alright..and cleanses your eyes..

well.. after which is home and back to fixing my com.. which right now is semi fixed..or in other words semi dead..heheh..

sigh

browsing back ... i found this pic fomr my pb..


looks so tiffany and co..


(well even though i am no woman.. i really like to say.. that i like tiffany is absolutely up there for jewelry with georg jensen if
you ask me..)


well i used to havea crush.. on thiss person.. ages ago..

so ancient is this that the person probabaly dun remember..

andd the think is that.. crushes seemt o be the norm for me.. cos i seem to just pick up and go..

like a whole lists of trials and errors..

well this is one of a kind...

and so far i can only say there are 4 "one of a kind" i have known so far..

but this one just buries deep..

well its like this..

imagine ferarri builts gorgeous vehicles..

but there is the 288 gto and the f40 , f50 , the ENzo , the p4/5 glickenhaus

it all is like the creme de la creme..

but somehow this one is like that one particualr out of these crop.. for watever chronic reason.. she jsut seems to rise up and ove.r.

and she used to fill my mind.. all the time.. jjust imagine if a physicist is to be full of numerical shit.. and statistics and stuff..

she was everywhere except the poo place..

i mean a physicist can be fascinated by terminology of poop falling from his juff down the bogs.. but this kinda thing just dun work in the bogs.. where bog rolls.. and pee stains run all round the place.. and it stinks to the highest heavens..

well she was there in my notes ... exams... teachers face... ceiling wall roof.. everywhere.. she was in my guinness books the only one.. to have been seen in every cranny in my grey matter..

and then... i blew,,, and told her..

andd after which.. i sorta got to a enlightened state..where it all drifted away .. with time..

and then it started all over..

i think i am nutz..

..












well...

saw lake house... its the sorta film that will make you awwww...


and i liked it.. its sappiness.. squishy soapiness.. all that wishy washy stuff..



i just loved it.. and that song by any williams.. i wish you love...

i truly do...


wish you love.. in every single most attainable way possible..

a sunday..

some one is on a plane today... someone who used to imprint my day.. ..

in english some pple say "rose-tinted glasses"

well my case was more like "HER-tinted glases"..


and it gets worse..


well thats the past..

more about it in future posts maybe..





well today is sunday..

and its today i joined my friends in a churcch cell grp for a bit of fun..

heard of shi zi lu kou??

well its chinese it kinda translates to the culinary crossward puzzle sorts..

pics below..


the "gang"


salad @ tcc

well.. its was funzz.. but exhausting.. andd frankly.. it was filling..

haha..

after the exhaustion we all sat down at star buck for a cuppa..

before i headed for dinner.. and a flick before i flicked home..


and here i am..

tired still..

something all of us seek.. but few would ever find..

this sentence rang in my head and shook me..

something all of us seek.. but few of us shall ever find..

it illustrates.. nothing concrete and definite..

an ideal.. or a astral projection of somesorts..

issit always as it is??

or isst??

just moment before work begins..



a stretch before a days rest..




the embrace of a loved one..



the bliss of living..



the peace in life..



to look into the eyes of another... experience joy diffusing.. pain conducting.. sadness overwhelming...



the urge to feel.. to touch.. to taste.. to see.. to smell.... the world. in all its unworldlyness...



we feel divine..



in the depths of mortal doings and believes.. principles and standards..



we hope to find.. abit of simplicity..



peace..



and a moment..



i found many.. and i am thankful for the moments the pple in them..the places they were in..



yet still i search for that one... who shall stop all that moves.. and still my minds eye..



but the search is hard... lots of trial.. and so far all errors..



a leap of faith... with but two possibilities.. one wowuld be to land on the other side.. all safe and sound.. oor too arrive in an everlasting fall.. toward obliviion.. untill you have finaally found that one other who would find you and turn you fall to flight..

a nothingness from nothing.

lets see..

normally when i start a post with lets see.. it normally means. i am lost....

i was pondering.. are you single??

are you interested???

can we... go out??

the umpteeen possibilities..

before i continue..

watever that is typed out and to be typed out is purely a piece of carbuncle i ahve flicked out of my immense depth of my mangled shallow..

well look at it this way..

wat drifts and differs fomr our regualr modus operandi??

do we call it breaking?? or bending??

christmas morning...are you alright?? there was a time i saw you with with fluffy snow and an occasion snowflake.. against the warmth backdrop and cosy log fire...

of late the snow has ceased to glisten..and soiled to grey.. the logs has burnt out and the smoke diffused the room..

心中有着一万个关心。。。 面对着您的“关心”


i have no other accord but concern..

myloh

oh i see myloh again.. i mean he is soooo cute. too bad i can;t keep him
.. nah,..

well its all things myloh this week.. hehe

a day out..

went out today...

was out today...

been out today..

hmmmm.



before - after...

nvr thot i'd do this but i did anyhoes..

lets see... woke up today..as with any other.. had my morning business done watched some cartoon breakfast and out of the house..

first stop dhoby ghaut.. some how i was hungry.. so got a sandwich. and bratwurst.. its hmmmmm.. recommended.. well for my case anyways.. cos i had the alfalfa swopped out for iceberg lettuce..yummy.... crunch crunch.. and well the i ordered roast beef.. as i always do.. but only its not the stringy stingy bits that are rung dried like jerky like at some place (subway)... and the bread was all crunchy and toasty...

well one other thing.. subway isn't bad....its just the beef.. the olives???yes... gerkins??? yes....lettuce??? yes... onions and tomatoes?? NO..

and last but not least.. please not bread that turns mushy...ewww...


------- well enuff sandwich business..
i also happen to find a drink dispenser that dispenses HOT CANNED drinks.. like in japan.. oh yes.. and i found the milk tea i ahev missed so much.. yummy.. hehe


well enuff hoohaa..

after that went to harbour front met up with peihua.. cute bubbly .. not.. hehe. ok lah.. cutesy woman .. but intimidating. cos she is one of the rare few on this part of the part of this earth that is almost as tall as i am.. boohoo.. then today met up and harbourfront and went around with her to eat and shop .. quite fun but abit boring.. well headed to sentosa and caught and underwelming ride.. well it turned out to be the wrong attraction that we turned up at.. s*&t .. then headed back for more shopping..btw BIG question.. do vietnamese eat beansprouts raw?? cos i was at the orange lantern with peihua and it was gross.... well the rest was ok..

well bougth a few nice shirts .. fomr amby and fitch.. yesh finally.. i finally found it.. do they have a shop somewhere?? and heard gap is coming but its goign to be ex lah so wats the point.. sigh..

till i blog again..

Sony Mylo

how cool is that sony launching this.. its my brother man.. just myloh without the "h" oh please get me this for my bday .. plea plea plea plea...se..
hehe

things i dunnoe wat to do about..

fuel economy or power??

to stay or to leave??

to speak to someone ... or to wait foor them to speak to me???

sleep early...or late??


tell or be told..


well its a never ending rows or q and as. or rather not so many as (answers) ..

i asked my sista recently.. and i realised.. i have weird eyes.. or a weird brain at that..

one that would kill me or drive me up some wall.. and later smash me to bits with the all natural gravity..

how gravitating is that...



well you see.. in search of the one inpractical pursuit in all things humane.. there is but one that stood through the times of men , gods, grief, pain , bliss, dust , storms, winds, blood and tears..

the search for love...

but yet at times.. this irrationale.. is cured bt a bit of somethign called pragmatism.. which inmost cases lead to a more sustainable account called marriage.. where two bliss ful pples.. get together and live blissfully for all eternity ..

and for that i pondered... not mine to.. but i did anyways.. cos i was bored..

well we (my sista and i) said in front of the tv watchign some crap soap.. then i would just pop her qs like ... how about this one?? or how about that one...and one synonymous answer came fomr my sista...


HIGH MAINTENANCE>>>>>>>.....

and in my head i was like.. SHIT....

hw could this be..

i mean i am not rich or anything..

but i look for some one who requires.. manicures and pedicures.. to trim then brows and style their eyelashes.. and do facial once in a while in some wellness spa.. to gain spiritual cleanliness.. onwwho matches her bra to her panty to her pants to her shirt to her belt to her bag to her shoes to he hair clip to her hair colour to ther hair style to her clothing tone to her theme to her pocket or in future maybe mine.... christ.. i am toast..

i need to change eyes.. anywilling donors..??

dreams?? or money??

should you do something that would make you happy or somethign that would ensure your survival??

a question about how one tile moved couldd affect the whole domino... a cataclysmic sequence that is affected..by but a teeth..

how do you deciDE?

routine..

started in 27th march 1986...

i was born and in accordance to my parents.. i was bright.. kinda too bright.. for my own good.. or maybe its just my parents in rose tinted glasses..

i was suppose to have started speaking at 1ish 2.. and by 3 i was speaking about as well as i am now.. except my grammar and vocabulary may have been much worse... well its not that much better now anyways..

then i was move from malaysia to singapore.. where i have grown to get use to.. and some how spoilt i guess..
it was my first time overseas.. at that tender age .. the exposure.. was immense.. i still remembered the long train rides.. fomr kl to singapore.. when i would stay up all night even though the lights in the sleeping cabins all out..always peering out of the windows.. to look out at those ot thee platforms wating to board the train.. i still remember... a lady giving me this wind up toy tortoise and in exchange i gave her my chips...

long waits in the waiting area....

then finally in singapore..

i remembered back that i came once with my mum first before settling down.. and that time.. i cried.. as my dad stood on the platform .. the train pulled away...and i cried myself to sleep that day...

in singapore i have stayed for about 17 years of my life.. its been as all else has been..

a post thats yet to end.. and still to be continued..

一日不见，如阁三秋。。。

recent events have left me pretty senseless..

it seems i have screwed it again..

am i anti social??

or am i that condescending??

some say i am cocky?? some say i am arogant??

am i...

can some one please tell me..


..

sigh..

crikey. is that me???

Individuals high on the dreamy scale include those people who would choose the bubbles of champagne over a glass of wine simply because it seemed a more romantic gesture. Highly dreamy people tend to see the magic in life. They may also actively seek out ways to make their love relationships special so that each day becomes an occasion.

People who are more down-to earth prefer life's everyday moments to grand gestures that seem over-the-top. They are realists who aren't easily swayed by styling or symbolism. For the most part, down-to-earth people would rather avoid glossy exteriors to get closer to what's on the inside. This tendency typically holds true across the board — in their friendships, in professional life, and in love.

Compared with others, your score weighed more heavily on the dreamy end of the scale. This result indicates that you have a more idealized way of seeing life than many people do. At times, your talent for imbuing the things around you with fantasy and romance gives you an air of elegance and wonder that others can be drawn to. In love, you know how to lavish special attention on the object of your affection and appreciate others who can reciprocate. Typically, romantic gestures aren't lost on you. On the contrary, you're usually one of those people who can really appreciate the magic of a well-timed kiss or a moonlight stroll. Dreamy types like you can be experts when it comes to courting. Just make sure that once you've found that special relationship you don't fall into the trap of thinking it's going to be just like it is in the movies. Once the two of you have walked off into the sunset, making your love last will still take some work. However, with your talent for keeping romance in bloom, you appear to be the perfect person for the job.

very superstition

anyone who knows me well enuff would know i am superstitious.. not voodoo doll but horoscope very nearly definitely...


every now and then i would spot some horoscopes that smack me on the face with me.. its like starring in the mirror or more like a doppleganger that haunts you and tells you all your faults and misdoings.. as well as wat you can do.. should do... may do... quite uncanny provided it is reliable..which is rare..luckyme
hahahha

not so sure its all true but sounds good.. heehe.. if you know wat i am like an wanna feed back feel free

aries..

first sign of the zodiac..

quite a charmer...in love and romance..

aggressive..in love and business.. yearning to come out tops.

instintive and a great negotiator..

with a natural gift for organising conferences and interviews..

pple gravitate towards him because he's never boring..

never happy with work..

indirectly affects relationships.. due to status concerns

immature at times

yearns for things beyond their reach

practical about choices.. knows wat he can or cannot do or achieve

romantic,exciting,exceptionally fun to be with..

not the most faithful... sigh....

BUT

he does esteem and cherish any significant other whom he chooses to spend s his time with..

idealistic..

aries wants an easy going partner.. but alo neds a good chase.. someone who is neither high maintenance nor a pushover..

least guilty of the signs... heheh

dun try fawning and telling aries that he or she is great.. they already know it..

infact they dun want too much compliments..

and alot more.. jiaalt tired ald.. type more next time..

to be onctinued..

x mas morning..

those who i have chatted with would most probably have noticed my nick.

for those love doves out there.. you pple would probabaly know wat it'd mean when your lovely other looks like xmas morning..

well apparetnly i got replied by all sorts of singles perhaps..well not all disppointing.. but some gave me answers that lay me in fits of shock while frothing from my mouth..

santa in drag??

mrs santa??

a female reindeer??

a snow woman??

i am like.. wats with you pple man.. sigh.. well it was up for a couple of days and

finally i got the right one or the one i had in mind.. finally.. gosh..



one word for it.. would be bliss..

in many words it'll be sexy, warmth, cosy, delicious, happy, jolly, joyous, delightful and i,m not too sure but i am sure the list goes on.. like till forever and ever ever.. hmmm

i am so lazed..

wel here i am all lazy and gosh i gotta work tomorrow...kinda looking forward to it.. almost.. not sure..

well forgot to blog all the stuff all happening in my life..

lets see.. i hardly have off days.. and its hard to ever date anyone cos my offs.. are like weekdays and stuff..
thank god yanyan is free

hahah.. so we go out shopping eating toking.. tired siah.. and took alot of pics..but lazy lah.. plus photobucket not very cooperative.. sux...well its mountain loads.. camera phone caused this craze of camwhoring.. well the quality isnt all great
but lomographic almost lah..

at least enuff for the moment..

aiyoh yannyz.. get hold of your dress sense soon ...hehe..

to all

find bliss where you stand..

amidst a greenest pasture...see not the greatness of the growth.. but of the ones that are all around you...un spoilt.. untouched.. to the smallest shrub...

i saw and i trembled..

i watched a show.. good but i trembled..

how far will you go for a dream>???

how far and wat is your dream?

for some survival is but a wink away amidst sun and rain and earthen anger sat awaiting.. only to explode and consume all in its way...quite alikened a worry set to unsettle..

and then in all it seemed all over.. it swept again.. through flames... through fire.. wind.. sand.. storm and water..... survival was the lean... the part that truly mattered...

for some its wealth both of the sprit and the mind...some to line their pockets.. with gold and all fleeting..the eye for glam and human.. the tongue that touch and feel not real but for the heavens do see in all but the seeming beauty that has been lay or created in value by non other then the parasite we call man....

some of us.. stare in utter glory in things.. some in bitter soar sour.. though half see half hearing.. do come to hate for no apparence in reason nor rhyme...

close thy eyes.......... see through those windows... of pale black and white... and levitate ... flock toward and ideal ... one not carved out of stone or stick...admire.. those for hath with no regard...for creations...but live for wat has been.. as it should have been....


utter nonsense and half awakened ramblings.. from that of a stranger.. once held this world so close.. now feel so far..

myloh..

dreaming

i dreamt again.. this time in broad day light..


i was so happy i sang.
haha

riddles..

i feel me shallow

but issit poossible that one is never infatuated or smitten??

stupid i know.. but just bouncing around.. hoping someone will answer..



well... bloggin on..

a post of riddles...

i am peeved.. as ever in the midst of peace i finally sort amidst the busy swarms that chase me up and over..dales and swarm.. through niceties and grims...shook my sould and razed my heart in flames.. while appeasing it with a gush of sudden cold... i lay unalive for bemidst my pain i feel a spark.. yet each time i beckoned upon it to set the smallness of my hearts aflame..








deeply i drank from a stream as it filled my thirst...yet i yearn for more.. but i have not my chance anymore...

i am...

she drove me crazy .. and then .. it cooled off... and then ... it get hidden again..

i see her and liek plumes or water in slow motion do raise and flouted and send my mind

to ringing ripples... that echo back and forth in an ever vast that never ends.. yet it

rings back on high as if amidst a distant cry.. to further hear it i try .. though

harder and feint it dare try..



i am smitten..part by sight , by touch , by hearing ..... amidst i flipped and my

mind is stirred, as my heart lay thumping.. half sleeping .. half awake... i could

barely withstand the mess that lay wrambly does grow..





to hold her tight and in warmth i'd bask... ... with her to share..my love .. thats all i ask...

its been ages..

i shall blog again..

a slight hiatus if you will...

till the swells in my heart has calmed...

M_
C_-_
A_-_-_
R_-_-_------four hath carved my heart with
Y_-_-
H_- ----------C,R,Y,A---------
A











i shall blog again...

i am so late...

i am so away from this... call it a break i guess...

i have been bumming around...

sigh... i feel like i am but this ball in the pin ball machine..

at times i am not sure if i got something.. or if i actually made it

and later when it comes..

i kinda think i get it then... then later... it slips away...

its kinda like i lack the patience or something.. i seem to be hounding after things




it lays behind bars from which the spot it drops forms a cage that imprisons me from

edging out and trying again..

i feel dreamy ...

i see her..

so many times..

she sends me aloft...

a tingle down my spine...

a zap from sky do thunder down..



i'm smitten..

i met her...

lets see..

if not for a function called "send a smile" i probably wouldnt be here typign this.. before i move on.. happy mothers day..

even though i dun really like how my mum manages my life.. the truth be told she is my mother and somehow being able to repay her or spoil my mum is a pretty happy thing to do.. although i'd have to say its relatively less then how much she poured on me.. but i guess its the best i could do really..

been wokring for sometime and with my first paycheck i took my mum to lunch... got a good scolding of course for splurging.. brought my parents to WAN HAO at the marriott.. the bill came up to be about 200++

and later met up with my sisters and our whole family had dinner at crystal jade.. this one my dad pay..cannot bleed twice a day.. not that affluent..hehe


mum and dad..loving still at their age..

thne back to the "lets see" part... imagine someone who is beautiful, intelligent, sensuous, hugely fun, somewat sexy, open, has the possibility of picking up good chopstick skills.. haha.. well right now she haunts my every moment mostly.. esp sleeping hours..too bad she is camera shy..could not get her picture..

well met up with her and blew me away.. it was like some sort of test.. cos i haven seen her before.. and when we met she actually got her friend to pretend to be her..which of course i did not fall for.. i mena how could i..( i am too smart for that hhahah)

well when she finally popped up i was stunt.. like a ball of fire..


we met up and went for dinner followed by a stroll from orchard its bus till esplanade and a stroll to raffles place...

did not get her pic cos she too shy.. how i wish i could.. sigh..

but i got this..



till i blog again.. hope things go the way i hope..
fingers crossed**

another dream

lets see... i dream alot.. more then i myself realise.. haha

well one of which.. is a dream garage.. well maybe not a garage but cars i want in my driveway..hehe

my everyday would be a G55 AMG.. ouch..hehe

then for weekenders or showoff i'll take a morgan aero 8 gtn..

hehe

may post pics later..but its not every ones cup of tea...hmm


another one is an all day affair..

its kinda like a choice like wat movie you wanna watch..

dilemma all day..

except movies are easier to decide on...this issue is worse..

well i am infatuated all over again...

its like those days where you keep telling yourself to not think about someone.. then its gets worse...

and this time its worse because she is some serious piece of work.. crikey..

she is the sort that would deflate mens egos .. or knock them out if she looked at them the wrong way..

well so far she has done enither to me.. maybe cos i am ugly.. haha.. or perhaps i'm not a guy.. *shit*

but i do have to say..

if i go out with her.. i will definitely do something most men won do..

that is to not stray..most men would look around.. and go like.. hmmm..

but goign out with her may cause other men to stray
heheh

right..


well that is the amjor chunk off it i guess.. i women and cars.. the other knick knacks i shall go into it some time else i gues.s.s time to go..

nighty ppl..tucks and hugs..

happy birthday

26th april


this post is dedicated to one who is born on this faithful day.

every year there'd sound a birthday song..
they sang and they cheered ,
a day one wouldn't miss
every time and every year.
when bliss welts up amidst the song
and warm hugs exchanged to ones' goiing on
we'll always remember your birthday
every smile and every tear.

to toast to bubbly,
or bouquets galore.
26th of april means way lot more.
a day to cheer the birth of one.
who brought us joy ,
like the ray of the sun.

-brethren coulter
A.K.A Myloh

myloh

my name or rather wat most pple call me.. is kinda well used.. or maybe overused...

or just plain used..

well on the good end MYLOH villaronga .. very famed photographer

on the other one there is this old chap in some obituary i saw.. poor fellow..

then there is the dog.. or dogs for that matter and one famous example is that beagle fomr the mask who jumped up to that window.. great dog.. famous..

and pple react like i just came out fomr "whose line issit"

when i order coffee.."may i have you initials or name please"

"myloh"

"wat!!"

then that punk chuckles off.. maybe i am sexist but a guy who scurries off and gossip while chuckliing like a little girl just sends my hairs standing..

then my job interviews.. this part i enjoy.. esp when the interviewers are female..sorry for sounding sexist again. but it really relaxes me when they hear my name and chuckle off.. it breaks the ice immediately..fantastic. and all i said was my name not a lame joke..hahah

but when they is a guy they would look at me and go like.. "you trying to be cute pig.. keep farting.. yeh.. fart somemore".. while they attempt to gun me with all sorts of questions.. one was so stern .. he stared at the lady till she realized and she stopped smilling.. it was.. weird.. how myloh works..
haha

getting a job soon..less free time hopefully less time to think.. less time to fantasize.. maybe thinks may just unfurl....

missing my dreams..already..

warmth and sweetness shall bid my lips farewell and from ther upon escape my sight upon the deserts of void fomr which it came..

a nordic sunrise..

a brief dedication..

opened my eyes,
reluctant to see..
ears tingled
reluctant to hear..
winds in the air,
reluctant to smell...

yet..

i saw and was enchanted
i heard and was deeply smitten
i smelt and was madly crazed

i never dared stand close
cos i am afraid you'll notice.
my palpitation, pulse and flutter.



votre élégance m'a eu profondément frappé

je t'aime..

last minute

hope over experience .. make your choice..



imagine meeting someone you want to see everyday.. and even after marriage with three kids you wanna send her to work and when you part for each others ways you two kissed and she kissed you back and soon you all feel all swooned like glass in a wine .. sorry wine in a glass.. and soon the kiss ends and she was about to leave and head to work and then she would turn around and you two would kiss again.. till the very last minute when she has to head to work or she'll be sacked late..then reluctant you lose your arms from her waist.. before she walks off to work smiling ear to ear..and gives youa fly kiss from far..

wat could possibly happen..or rather.. wat if this happens..

would you want it?? would you like it?? would you love to??

storm clouds, raining drenched to the bone.

things aren't great.. well its bad.. kinda bad not like dying bad.. but really bad..

sky overcast and typing next to a rain splattered window

How do you look.. fabulous..

well the above is the last thing on my mind..

well enuff of bad mumbling.. time to let it go.. well would not want to keep humming around the same bug.. time to move on..



right now just hope to find a spot on a bench next to the sea with the sun out and blue clouds and maybe a stereo with pink martini and corrine both may and bailey rae well its fantasy...

time to hop back to life..

time to breathe .. waiting to have it taken from me..

a deliberated piece

a hallway filled with light.
warmth,genteel through air does flight.
amidst the ambered rays,
came a soul of ragged pace.
as sun shine pass in yellow warmth,
the light through walls all louvred, torn,
approached one of not obscured or blocked
but magnificently unvealed, in its sight do gawk.
does shine a face and lit to life,
the gleaming gold waltzed across the sky.
its aging light through time does slowly die.
soon a gleaming pair chases , running forth,
and slows to a dropping tear,
trailing down the cheeks so soft.
the last window, the eighth, i came to pray
to see the final lights of day,
only to be left in dismay,
as it left and never a farewell did say.

now in face of darkness grim does gleams of moon seep through,
why has the sun left me in cold and harsh so cruel.


-Brethren Coulter
in yearn for day to come again

have you ever.

have you ever had a day you thot would be great.. but turned out to be the worst day of your life?

well think of it this way.. my life is crumbling to bits.. and i am dying..and jsut when everything was thot to be normal.. some one throws you a block of c4..

there are so many tings i wanted to do.. but i could never

i wanted to tell this girl i was really into her.. but i couldn't

i wanted to do better but i couldn't

i wanted to grab hold of my life.. but i couldn't

i wanted to end my life.. but i couldn't

i wanted so much just to live life with no worries but i couldn't

i wanted so much honest to my parents but i couldn't

i wanted so much to be confidnet. but i couldn't

i have many wants.... so many i wish i were a monk..



If only i could read her mind and sense her thots..if only..

gosh i forgot...

before i forget..



there is suppose to be one more woman not mentioned in the previous post.. here she is..hehehe

3. Yet again a lady of beauty. Captures all the attention like crystal capturing light…unique. Reserved. Well seen... (Exposed) intelligent.. Sophisticated... Good taste. Good sense of humour...Accommodating... toothy smile... Humble. Attention grabbing... some what distant…

till i blog again..

anycommnets are welcome..just nail it on the taggy k.. thanks

contd from prev prev..read lah..comment k..

read liao pls comment k.. hahah

Although there are those who come and take a peek... but I trust there won’t be many who will read toward the end... still I am to write about my ending...

Since no one will read this I shall write to my thots...About six faces…by now.. I guess most could guess where this is going. Well its going to be silly and downright stupid but I am going to type it anyways..

Of the six 3 and fantasies and 3 and realities.

Lets start with the fantastic ones..

1. Melissa theuriau: (French newscaster. firstly French. I love... Sophisticated.. Beautiful... In control... Or seem to be... eloquent... wit. Intelligence...)….. Absolute merveilleux..

2. Sophie marceau: (again French.. beautiful.. classy.. temptress… purely fantasy. think supercar..Gorgeous.. But you really dun want it...)

3. Vittoria vetra: (Italian.. [finally something different] heroine in Dan brown’s book “angles and demons” I shall quote as the book said, “lithe and graceful, she was tall with chestnut skin… and long black hair that swirled with the backwind of the rotors. Her face was unmistakably Italian – not overly beautiful, but possessing full, earthy features that even at twenty yards seemed to exude a raw sensuality. “ … ) … wat a woman… estupendo..

Now is time for the real ones.. these are very generic.. so readers any similarities should not be taken seriously.. could bea case of sheer coincidence..

1. a lady with beauty.. Candid.. Casual.. Rugged.... possibly sensual..Confident..Boyish at times but is really a girl with intimate thots...good taste…interesting choices…trendsetter… A gnashy grin. Makes yourday...Playful and chummy. Likes beer...Chatty...And innocent.

2. a lady of beauty … with wit but some wat limited in outlook.. or not my ideal. Sorry (purely my view) .. Close. but too close for comfort… a little pampered.. Not rugged. witty.. Yearning to break out of her shell.. Searching for breakthrough.. Lacks confidence.. Indecisive..Innocent..Curious. Great smile..

till i blog again..comments are welcome just tag..thanks

contd fomr the previous post..

As I ran I began to speak to the asphalt... Strange I know... but I do tok to myself... its kinda like sharing with someone.. And ideal... My singular…and then I realized... Or rather something came to my mind... Or rather not something... it’s many things...
I was wondering... Wat issit I do that mattered... At all... Things I have tried to achieve lose their worth like my currency has been burnt and have lost their value. Everything seemed pulverized..

I have lost hope and my self worth in that speck of a thot... And then came faces... Faces of pple I have failed... Pple of whom I have thanked for their utter patience and pple who I love... Of which came this chapter.. Where faces appeared... I felt blind…or blinded... I feel foolish and it seems I cannot quite see through faces… in this I mean my infatuations... Or rather my likings or my yearn to find the other..

Its in my horoscope that I am foolish a lover and that I take plunges and not steps at love.. That I fall head over heels at first sight. And I admit my flaw... yet somehow I seem unable to see beyond it. To me it has always been looks, intelligence, wit, and personality. Sounds simple but to many its like the ultimate impossibility.. One would have to be able to touch the sky to be the one.. And even then... I would feel inferior to that person. I feel foolish...

a long post.. well not really.. just try to read it in bits..

long title i know.. but its an even longer post..



Chisel on wood
Pen on paper
Thorn to flesh
Splinter in my mind.

There are many things in many pples heads... every moment of everyday in every second is a finite count that seems to drain us off and send us forward… supposedly.

Sometimes I feel the world is fake and that it is falling apart... well at times I feel this cannot be too far from the truth. Everyday we are to be faced with and face things which may be of favour to us...Or not. In all this ramblings it seems some thing seems to be missing. Well it is... Wat is lost is a singular… a constant... And a starting point for our reference…

A beacon for us to look back at and think.. how far things have come..

Had a day today as I had any of my days alone. To some it’s miserable. And to be absolutely honest.. I think so too. Its those days where is aimless.. Although there are things you want to do but it seems like beside it... Its seemingly empty.. A likened void..

Woke up made a fruit blend.. For breakfast and got my day started.... I turned on the radio and on it is pink martini… still thankful to Heidi for having put it up on her wish list. And as I listened.. I swept and after which I slummed on the couch waiting for time to come when I would pick up my things and head out. To those who know me.. Which I doubt are many,… I am hardly homely... Not sure why... But I grabbed a book and I headed out.. to a café where I took a seat next to the window with my coffee and a slice of cake before I set out on this journey in my book in my mind…

Came home later and found myself wishing time would just pause... And that some moments would last. Like in photographs... But only in real life. Then we would walk by and not look at clocks.. Not look at watches... Or ask about time...

Thoughts…sheer fantasy I seriously hoped.

Went jogging… with my dad today. But wasn’t in my mood to jog today… seem something is missing.. Felt like my life is a mess.. Since birth things have never really worked out…well most of the time... It just seems as though I have been blundering through all my life... And until today I feel….I am but nothing…. With nothing to have shown for my twenty years on this planet...

goign bonkers..

have you pple ever gone crazy like jump out of the window crazy over somethings.. well i guess for me that would be soon..

cos of many things..

like all guys they is the girls cars and food..everythign else is and encompassment toward this.. or so i found out through my over lunch talk with a friend liying over lunch..until i went through it again then i thto there are many more like these.. eg would be music..esp after little miss Heidi put on such a right thing for her wishlist.. i mean how many persons on this bloody planet has actually heard of pink martini.. i mean the songs some of them.. but the group..most have never even smelt.. let alot heard..hmm..(sorry was hungry at time of posting)...

yesterday was out with yanny to look for her stuff and finally got her to get a nice pair of heels after which brought her to cg-5 to go try out some clothes for her work..somehow i wonder..how come when i dress pple up they look good.. but my own dress sense is like shit..amazing..(scratching head)..

strange thot in my head: "looking for a girl who looks like tom cruise... hmmm can they be such a thing??"
before you all jump.. i am toking about a female equivalent if there is such a thing..hmmm.. i'm not gay... yet anyways.. hahahah

pink martini.. shaken not stirred..

Sympathique Pink Martini lyrics
Artist: Pink Martini
Album: Sympathique
Year: 1997
Title: Sympathique

Ma chambre a la forme d'une cage
Le soleil passe son bras par la fenêtre
Les chasseurs à ma porte
Comme les p'tits soldats
Qui veulent me prendre

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Déjà j'ai connu le parfum de l'amour
Un million de roses n'embaumerait pas autant
Maintenant une seule fleur dans mes entourages
Me rend malade

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Je ne suis pas fière de ça
Vie qui veut me tuer
C'est magnifique être sympathique
Mais je ne le connais jamais

Je ne veux pas travailler
Non
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Je ne suis pas fière de ça
Vie qui veut me tuer
C'est magnifique être sympathique
Mais je ne le connais jamais

Je ne veux pas travailler
Non
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

i want i want i want..

its that time of the year again

hahahha

well wat can i say i guess i have loads of wants but i can understand that i am not born witha buy anything ability.. and i think it kinda makes the situation worse..

just when i thto i would contented with life and just live without.. i was tingled by this cd on Heidi's blog and i wasn;t sure wat to make of it at first.. then i went to check it out.. and it blew my head off.. i was bonked.. zonked.. bogswallop.. watever.. it just blew my socks off..

right now as i typed the seventh track "Lilly" is playing and i was totally blown.. its the sort that makes you wanna jingle with like the sort that would jsut tickle you bones into action.. absolutely fantastic.. my fav so far is the track "veronique"..

c'est absolument magnifique...

yet another sick day...

i am sick again..well to some(like my mum).. i have always been.. ....

i was out yesterday with liying and we had a long walk. really long..

think..dhoby ghaut to somerset to cityhall..

well lets look at wat else we did...

watched v for vendetta...

walked..

walked..

walked..

stopped for a drink..

walked...

at clark quay took a euro bungee ride..

walked..

went to dhoby ghaut for bites at fish and co.

home..

then this is where the shit falls..

i went home.. bathe and came out with a 39.2 degree temperature..

till today i am all stoned and still runnig a temperature..

gosh help me.. and my mum is like treating me like i am goign to die...which i presume may happen soon.. cos i am so dying to go out..its booooooring at home man..

anyways..till i blog again..

another day sick..

am i too frail?? i think i am.. or close to being at least...

gosh this on/off thing is scary...well lots of things to look forward too..

heads getting fuzzy..

but i guess i am better off as compared to those who are slogging off their week

whilst i kick back on a cup of tea listen to "la vie en rose"


till i blog again.

march 11th

wat a day.. not sure wat to make of it really. woke up witha headache and joints achy all round.. from head to toe..arghhh.. fellt lethargic and i had a high fever.. not sure if its damn high but when i saw the doctors expression he seems to be amazed i am still alive..well at 39.2 its no wonder.. haha.. dragged myself to the market with my parents for breakfast.. i kinda lost my appetite when i walked past the poultry and the fish.. so i only had jellied beancurd.. then later i went back home felling horrible?? well i was not sure .. doign up my designs while having moby playing in the hifi.. then having cooked a hardboil egg and had break with soya milk..( all that soy ) all that while messaging this friend of mine "heidi" (not the gal with braids and the yodelling..se previous post) and there after i kinda recovered.. just in time for dinner.. amazingly..

my family was having this big i mean BIG dinner that evening cos its my mums birthday so we went to longbeach for dinner.. it seems to offset my bland and quite flat "lunch" which consisted of bread and water.. anyways pics below..


my dad and my mum.. loving even after so many years.. hehe


yummy!!.. hehe lets see thats chilli crab and some cocnh thing and veg and sharks fin..and i forgot wat else..but it was definitely delicious..finger-licking good.. haha

dance??

i am not the sort who dances... and the stranger thing would be i am joining this dancing class.. maybe to overcome my inadequacy..well when to one the day yesterday and i fell flop on my face i felt like a tree..i cannot do anything i feel for a moment that my feet are stuck.. gosh..

well got stirred into action and actaully tried it at home and got it.. i think. haha..well yesterday was suppse to meet heidi (hyde-d)and des .. we went for dinner at long johns and there after we went to some bubble tea store for bubble tea..i have to say it was a mixture when with hyde-d.. its a love hate think..she is the sort who is kinda bubbly nad teasable.. but unlike many gals .. she packs a punch..gosh..and worse when desmond is on her side..sigh... i am sucha poor thing.. ahahh


here are some pics taken .. we were THAT bored.. were we???..







from the top, dessy is a cannibal..he was trying to show us his gruesome jaws and was attempting to swallow my head why keeping me distracted with two fingers.

dessy showed that he has a preference for male flesh ..here we see him trying to suppress his nausea when the female preay is near... hehehe .. wicked**...

a pissifying day

well today i can seriously sayy it was good and bad.. mixed feelings..haha

well lets start with a sleep at 2 am in the morning and my dad says its my fault that
he woke up i was like huh?? cos i closed the doors i ai dun make anynoise watsoever.. so there's one.this is bad...

thne it was wake up time.. today was suppose to give miss Heidi a wake up call and the first thing i heard was this moan and groan sound through the phone which sounded like whales in the water..hahah (must be one big whale on the other side of the line.. haha)then finally she wakes up .. mission accoplished.

after that i sat down to my cook up in the morning of sausages, bacon and egg and my homemade milkshake but no milk so used yakult.. even better.. yummy(rubs tummy).. next was tv and more eats.. i had lychees and a pear..and some prawn roll thingy.. haha(sorry but i eat alot.. hah)

well i am cutting down..

then after that went to suntec for the it show..
on the way there some b_+ch who was apparently fomr china cos she blarred out into her handphone in beijing style-chinese and i was a tad irritated.. then came the big one.. she turned around and said:" UNCLE... how to go to si ma lu.." i was damn ass cheesed.. after i told her i wanted to wrench her head off her neck siah... not really jsut exaggerating..but anywyas.. a thirty plus auntie calling me uncle..wtf!!!

arghhh

at the exhib it was as per usual the crowd jsut turned my appetite to browse to -1 almost plus those gals in those scanty outfit..wats the deal?? some of them are liek soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ugly.. no offence but its true.. and sex sells but i would rather not... then it was off to lunch.. thank god the fountain terrace was quiet.. so i lunch alone in the tranquility of that afternoon .. then after that was to mph for abit of book shopping.. and back home..

and eventful day.. tired..till i blog again.

another one..for today...

today was pretty busy??

i think so.. haha..

well got up early.. woke up washup and had some breakfast

next was wake up call time.. and so i called up the cow upstairs..

hahaha.. well not really a cow.. if she were gosh i would think she has mcd..hah

not..

well she is a tiger..but a lazy one at that..hhahaah :p

well today was lunch and lunch..and lunch... and... well lunch..sorry alittle senal here...

oh yes..we had lunch and we walked about..haha

window shopping just without the buying of windows.. ahah(okok lame..i know..)

well after which we got back and then it was out to exercise.. well supposed to be joggin.. but it turned out being a jog turn brisk walk turn walk turn see-saw and swing time turn walk.. haha..

but i have to say it was good fun cos we found an old school see saw without those
dreaded spring thingy .. and we had a nice time laughin and playig on the swing.. at this point i feel like divulging somebody's secret but i decided not to.. but if you all ask me politely i may let you know.. hahahaha


hope we'll do better next time..

okok.. till then.. ciao..