Friday, March 31, 2006

a deliberated piece

Image hosting by Photobucket

a hallway filled with light.
warmth,genteel through air does flight.
amidst the ambered rays,
came a soul of ragged pace.
as sun shine pass in yellow warmth,
the light through walls all louvred, torn,
approached one of not obscured or blocked
but magnificently unvealed, in its sight do gawk.
does shine a face and lit to life,
the gleaming gold waltzed across the sky.
its aging light through time does slowly die.
soon a gleaming pair chases , running forth,
and slows to a dropping tear,
trailing down the cheeks so soft.
the last window, the eighth, i came to pray
to see the final lights of day,
only to be left in dismay,
as it left and never a farewell did say.

now in face of darkness grim does gleams of moon seep through,
why has the sun left me in cold and harsh so cruel.


-Brethren Coulter
in yearn for day to come again

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

have you ever.

have you ever had a day you thot would be great.. but turned out to be the worst day of your life?

well think of it this way.. my life is crumbling to bits.. and i am dying..and jsut when everything was thot to be normal.. some one throws you a block of c4..

there are so many tings i wanted to do.. but i could never

i wanted to tell this girl i was really into her.. but i couldn't

i wanted to do better but i couldn't

i wanted to grab hold of my life.. but i couldn't

i wanted to end my life.. but i couldn't

i wanted so much just to live life with no worries but i couldn't

i wanted so much honest to my parents but i couldn't

i wanted so much to be confidnet. but i couldn't

i have many wants.... so many i wish i were a monk..



If only i could read her mind and sense her thots..if only..

Friday, March 24, 2006

gosh i forgot...

before i forget..

Image hosting by Photobucket

there is suppose to be one more woman not mentioned in the previous post.. here she is..hehehe

3. Yet again a lady of beauty. Captures all the attention like crystal capturing light…unique. Reserved. Well seen... (Exposed) intelligent.. Sophisticated... Good taste. Good sense of humour...Accommodating... toothy smile... Humble. Attention grabbing... some what distant…

till i blog again..

anycommnets are welcome..just nail it on the taggy k.. thanks

contd from prev prev..read lah..comment k..

read liao pls comment k.. hahah

Although there are those who come and take a peek... but I trust there won’t be many who will read toward the end... still I am to write about my ending...

Since no one will read this I shall write to my thots...About six faces…by now.. I guess most could guess where this is going. Well its going to be silly and downright stupid but I am going to type it anyways..

Of the six 3 and fantasies and 3 and realities.

Lets start with the fantastic ones..

1. Melissa theuriau: (French newscaster. firstly French. I love... Sophisticated.. Beautiful... In control... Or seem to be... eloquent... wit. Intelligence...)….. Absolute merveilleux..

2. Sophie marceau: (again French.. beautiful.. classy.. temptress… purely fantasy. think supercar..Gorgeous.. But you really dun want it...)

3. Vittoria vetra: (Italian.. [finally something different] heroine in Dan brown’s book “angles and demons” I shall quote as the book said, “lithe and graceful, she was tall with chestnut skin… and long black hair that swirled with the backwind of the rotors. Her face was unmistakably Italian – not overly beautiful, but possessing full, earthy features that even at twenty yards seemed to exude a raw sensuality. “ … ) … wat a woman… estupendo..

Now is time for the real ones.. these are very generic.. so readers any similarities should not be taken seriously.. could bea case of sheer coincidence..

1. a lady with beauty.. Candid.. Casual.. Rugged.... possibly sensual..Confident..Boyish at times but is really a girl with intimate thots...good taste…interesting choices…trendsetter… A gnashy grin. Makes yourday...Playful and chummy. Likes beer...Chatty...And innocent.

2. a lady of beauty … with wit but some wat limited in outlook.. or not my ideal. Sorry (purely my view) .. Close. but too close for comfort… a little pampered.. Not rugged. witty.. Yearning to break out of her shell.. Searching for breakthrough.. Lacks confidence.. Indecisive..Innocent..Curious. Great smile..

till i blog again..comments are welcome just tag..thanks

contd fomr the previous post..

As I ran I began to speak to the asphalt... Strange I know... but I do tok to myself... its kinda like sharing with someone.. And ideal... My singular…and then I realized... Or rather something came to my mind... Or rather not something... it’s many things...
I was wondering... Wat issit I do that mattered... At all... Things I have tried to achieve lose their worth like my currency has been burnt and have lost their value. Everything seemed pulverized..

I have lost hope and my self worth in that speck of a thot... And then came faces... Faces of pple I have failed... Pple of whom I have thanked for their utter patience and pple who I love... Of which came this chapter.. Where faces appeared... I felt blind…or blinded... I feel foolish and it seems I cannot quite see through faces… in this I mean my infatuations... Or rather my likings or my yearn to find the other..

Its in my horoscope that I am foolish a lover and that I take plunges and not steps at love.. That I fall head over heels at first sight. And I admit my flaw... yet somehow I seem unable to see beyond it. To me it has always been looks, intelligence, wit, and personality. Sounds simple but to many its like the ultimate impossibility.. One would have to be able to touch the sky to be the one.. And even then... I would feel inferior to that person. I feel foolish...

a long post.. well not really.. just try to read it in bits..

long title i know.. but its an even longer post..

Image hosting by Photobucket

Chisel on wood
Pen on paper
Thorn to flesh
Splinter in my mind.

There are many things in many pples heads... every moment of everyday in every second is a finite count that seems to drain us off and send us forward… supposedly.

Sometimes I feel the world is fake and that it is falling apart... well at times I feel this cannot be too far from the truth. Everyday we are to be faced with and face things which may be of favour to us...Or not. In all this ramblings it seems some thing seems to be missing. Well it is... Wat is lost is a singular… a constant... And a starting point for our reference…

A beacon for us to look back at and think.. how far things have come..

Had a day today as I had any of my days alone. To some it’s miserable. And to be absolutely honest.. I think so too. Its those days where is aimless.. Although there are things you want to do but it seems like beside it... Its seemingly empty.. A likened void..

Woke up made a fruit blend.. For breakfast and got my day started.... I turned on the radio and on it is pink martini… still thankful to Heidi for having put it up on her wish list. And as I listened.. I swept and after which I slummed on the couch waiting for time to come when I would pick up my things and head out. To those who know me.. Which I doubt are many,… I am hardly homely... Not sure why... But I grabbed a book and I headed out.. to a café where I took a seat next to the window with my coffee and a slice of cake before I set out on this journey in my book in my mind…

Came home later and found myself wishing time would just pause... And that some moments would last. Like in photographs... But only in real life. Then we would walk by and not look at clocks.. Not look at watches... Or ask about time...

Thoughts…sheer fantasy I seriously hoped.

Went jogging… with my dad today. But wasn’t in my mood to jog today… seem something is missing.. Felt like my life is a mess.. Since birth things have never really worked out…well most of the time... It just seems as though I have been blundering through all my life... And until today I feel….I am but nothing…. With nothing to have shown for my twenty years on this planet...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

goign bonkers..

have you pple ever gone crazy like jump out of the window crazy over somethings.. well i guess for me that would be soon..

cos of many things..

like all guys they is the girls cars and food..everythign else is and encompassment toward this.. or so i found out through my over lunch talk with a friend liying over lunch..until i went through it again then i thto there are many more like these.. eg would be music..esp after little miss Heidi put on such a right thing for her wishlist.. i mean how many persons on this bloody planet has actually heard of pink martini.. i mean the songs some of them.. but the group..most have never even smelt.. let alot heard..hmm..(sorry was hungry at time of posting)...

yesterday was out with yanny to look for her stuff and finally got her to get a nice pair of heels after which brought her to cg-5 to go try out some clothes for her work..somehow i wonder..how come when i dress pple up they look good.. but my own dress sense is like shit..amazing..(scratching head)..

strange thot in my head: "looking for a girl who looks like tom cruise... hmmm can they be such a thing??"
before you all jump.. i am toking about a female equivalent if there is such a thing..hmmm.. i'm not gay... yet anyways.. hahahah