dear lord..

of al thinngs that happen.. we cnanot actaully control wat others would do.. hence.. the traffic jams.. the squeeze in some train abins and some empty.. some pretty and others not so.. and etc.. today i got the chance to be more equal than others.. honest.. i was stunned beyond belief when i got whiff of wat happend.. i could not belief my ears.. and at first.. treated it as wrong humour.. and backed off.. but pple around you tend to take it as really fun and twill on and on.. its like watching insects squirm.. plain torture..worse still i kinda became worse when one is unaware..its like a jab.. then all one ever gets are these shards and never knowing who planted them around..

the hilarity continues.. i feel like a specimen of how ugly a human can get.. and somehow.. it reveals to me the many human monstrosities too.. well this little mishap led to many gloats.. and jokes and pokes.. and taunts.. but too much hurts.. its not like i posed and exposed my self for such attention.. i dun need this..and to those who know wat i am toking about.. please.. i ask for no more.. than a peaceful retreat and that all is just lost into an abyss where nothing is lifted.. not even a sinew of such.. as unglorious as it is.. my participation in such is as much as is.. an embarrassment.. which is consuming me whole .. and plenty vexing.. to the soul who took the picture.. its plenty unpleasant when pple take pictures of other pple for watever purposes i shall not explain further.. but i think there should be due amount of personal space for issues no matter to be discussed.. before it hurts.. in which case.. i really do wish the person a holw load of hell.. becasue if you hadn't considered my stand.. why should i consider yours.. this sod it attitude did not com amongst nothing..


i have done wrong.. but please give me a chance to live.. this feels like a life sentence... and while many will deem htis a melodrama and an absolutel exaggeration.. i'd like to see how you'd handle it.. when someone gouges out some chunk of your personal self and exposes it to the world around you..

i feel i have nothign more to say than that i hate myself for having done that.. i hate the person for having been trigger happy and inconsiderate.. and i hate to say this.. but i hate the taunts "jokes" and many devices thrown at me.. meeting such with a smiling face kinda makes it as hard as it would be.. try not to make it worse.. to those who gave the much sympathy and pacifism.. its much appreciated.. not matter genuine or hypocrisy.. i thank you for at least that instant..

for those who know wat this refers to.. reflect.. for those who do not.. i would just say unto you to stay your words.. and not a breather more.. i shall be eternally grateful.