arghhhhh

it hurts... it hurtss...alot..

went to the beach with some friends on sat. x'mas..
and forgotten to put more sunblock.. in the end kena burn until i cannot make it..
i am beginning to feel like a roast pig since that day..very jialat.. the skin now.. seems to flake or crack each time i move..and the sensation is "fantastic" furthermore.. clothes must be worn with care and movement is restricted..together with the muscle ache from volleyball was killer man...

argghhhhhh!!!

voyeurism,exhibitionism

the grotesque human being or is it??

a link where one could pour out and find an outlet...

a little sumthin i read

At present both men and women have to "win" each other.

At present continual quarrels are thought to be a necessary part of family life.

At present a couple need to rest from each other from time to time.

At present men and women talk in court of law instead of bedroom.

At present men and women first become parents and then understand that they do not match.

At present men and women make the gender wars instead of love.

At present erotic is driven in underground and treated as something indecent, reprehensible and immoral whilst violence, cruelty, murders and other crimes are openly and widely shown as though normal and habitual 'facts of life'.

So it's no wonder that this loveless world slides gradually down to hell.

its a day before my school starts..

a day before my school starts and i am feeling clashy deep inside... my holidays have been full of ups and downs from my results to the frequent outings and times i spent with my friends ... before i continue to ramble on .. *music in background = "watch your back" from THE FAST AND THE FURIOUS* hence the posibility of crap that may sound so bad i may stop blogging......

this may be the one blog that is truly and explicitly true..well i got to know this girl through the holidays in fact from before..just awhile back...(by this line alot of pple must be thinking that i am a corny nerd in glasses with the classic love soap drama in my head..)she is a coincidental acquaintance i got to know on this website called "friendster" and i just added her to my list way back and only made contact just recently and she turned out to be real nice and i dun mean only her looks (although, yes being a male i am more stimulated by visuals)but she is somewat different and her intellect is fantastic..and after chattin her up i found her to be extraodinary or rather she evokes ones curiosity or mine in this case... ...

i hope i get to blog more often in future

un film que j'ai observé aujourd'hui (a movie i watched)

my first contri without a number for the title..feels like a fresh start.. hopefully it is..

today was slack day like some of my days free..and i thot i'd get hold of something to entertain myself so i got this vcd my sis bought.. titled "ditto" (the kind of arthouse film in singapore context..and was never screened officially in singapore)...for those who are not fond of korean sappy dramas and romance can really stop readin here and proceed to read others if you are new here..heheh..

the tale begins in 1979 where this beautiful looking lady was at her school and was crushing on this senior of hers...and in the course of it found a radio.. a ham radio to be precise..and it just flicked on in the nite after a lunar eclipse and this guy on the other end.. a ham enthusiast was looking for someone to open up to.. and coincidentally then talked...and felt good with each others company.. later they decided to meet and missed each other on the date of appointment later the guy declared that he's from the year 2000.. all this goes through a whole string of events before there finally meet... a romance between a fifty year old lady and a twenty-one year old chap...

the ending was bitter sweet.. and the effort taken the settings and cinematographic effects is great..if you all have a chance to watch it.. pls do..

sorry to make this sound liek a film review... heheh:P

17+1

a little recipe i came across..
note the last line.. hehehe.. evil..

Flaming Lamborghini

Ingredients

1 shot of Kahlua
1 shot of Cointreau
1 shot of Sambuca
1 shot of Green Chartreuse
1 shot of Blue Curacao
1 shot of thickened cream
Method

In a large Martini glass layer the Kahlua, Cointreau, Sambuca, and on the top layer Green Chartreuse.
Fill a shot glass with Blue Curacao and another with thickened cream.
Have a friend - a friend - light the Chartreuse and hold the shot glasses.
Dip two straws in the glass and suck immediately.
Your friend should add the Blue Curacao while you are drinking, and when you get near the bottom of the glass, the cream.
Notes

The purpose of the curacao is a bit of a sweetener.
The purpose of the cream is to cool your throat down.
The purpose of the drink is to get you smashed in ten minutes.
The purpose of buying one for someone else is usually revenge.

17

ever had this feelin when you need a to hold on to something and without that you would fall into the abyssmal dimension of the lost..or something like the evil emperor after he got thrown down the long deep hole to be vapourised..

i feel like that more or less quite a number of times in my life..today is one of the days..i felt more than ever that i needed to know wat i can do.. wat i want and wat i wish to do..right now i feel just like a wat was said in "you've got mail".. that i am but a lone reed ... but not that i am defying the currents of commerce but more of being swayed by the winds of change ... all of a sudden things i have done look all too much like a big mistake..

sometimes i even get my gender confused... just joking..

i just wish that there is a way i could read myself like a book.. and know which step to take in this giant board of chess that i have put my life at stake to play...

sixteen

i have sinned... ...
i have sinned alot... ...
this feels alittle like a church where i could confess my sins and be reborn.. issit...??

shi wu ( fifteen in chinese)

it ahs been a along time since i have touch my com let alone the blog..so it feels kinda nice having to tap on the keyboard while tellin some sappy story to a void where hopefully someone.. gets somethign from it..and my give me something in return..while having my ears plugged into diana krall and typing my self into a this seemingly infinite void..where all messages seem to flow out..like flour through the sieve leaving the tangled thots for oneself to unravel..holidays have come to an end in the blink of an eye..starting school in the december month..absolutely dreadful.. thinking of alll the festive stuff to tempt me off track... heheh...

somehow my most dreadful chapter is about to arrive or at least it think so... kinda flopped my papers i think.. and that maymean i out of my current school for good..
it just seems stuff when put into text books magically lose their allure...thank god i am not studying cars.. although i have been drenched to the bone with the passion for cars but some how its could get really tasteless if i have been forced to study it.

this time round there is a problem about matters of affection..how does one know that one is truly in love??any signs.. that one can use as beacons in the dark unlit paths of affection...please do comment..it will be much appreciated..

kumi na nne (fourteen in east african)

been out today... at around..it was a semi raining afternoon with a slight rancid smell in the air..in this times which seems to fly by so fast.. it seems that many of us are looking for words to comfort ourselves..alot of my freinds have since turn towards books..
quite unlike my younger days when tv seems to be the essence of life and they seems to be an undying thirst to finish watching tin tin before going to bathe...television is not exactly out of my life..and i won say that i only watch the news... in fact sorry to say but i try to avoid the news especially in the morning.. hehe.. but an occasional dose of television be it comedy or news or soaps seem to make live that little bit more livable or at least i feel so..

after the holidays have started, i have been hanging out and at home pretty much..and recently my urge to read has been awokened friom the more dormant state after i was blown away by dan brown..

current read is a book by torey hayden called one child about abunch of not so well developed children being taken care of unconditionally by miss torey hayden in the book..alittle bit of the darker parts of this planet where we have still ourselves to conquer.. it ain the big things like the iraq war or even catastrophic events that yank our heads to the news to notice..but it seems that many have been blinded myself included...well its not really something to be ashamed of as majority of the human race is at war with themselves 24/7.. the job stresses, office politics, family conflicts, share prices, oil prices, global economy, taxes,where to go for the next holidays etc...but we have never been able to put thiss thigns down to look further..do diferences really mean to cut our societies apart.. or has it been set upon us to see hoe we could be tested and to see well we accommodate others??

blown away...

dreizehn(german for thirteen)

ever felt like you have a rock tied to you and your foot steps become really heavy...today a clso fiend of mine left for a attachment prgramme the kind where one goes to work for free kind..(just kidding) well in fact seven of my friends are heading off three of which are whom i have got to know better..and although they'll will be gone for a month only i feel as though there will be gone in a long time.. and that it will be really long time before i ever see them again kinda feeling.. and its weighing me down..

doce

fwwlike tearing my head apart right now..lack of sleep maybe or sleeping too late hehe...

sebelas..contd

seven hours ago i made my first post here's the second one..

clouds rolled by the sky today,
like stained carpets unfurled.
to many young children's dismay,
for wat seemed ,the end of the world.
windows screeched and curtains fray,
hurried by the rowdy spray.
as rains rush by, so did the clouds,
as the sun drove them away...

sebelas

another day of when i come round to the site and wished that i have something to type ...

ever had one of this days when you have someting on your mind and it buzzes around you so bad that you can't sleep or eat or even watch tv in peace...

well this is one such day for me.. i think i put my foot in a bucket of poo.. the feeling is quite there..just waiting for when the shit hits the fan..

lets hope that things work out fine.. for all.. although i have no idea how mine will workout..

-end-

dieci ...contd...

a day with you, a season...
when flowers bloom, for no reason...
the bees do fly,
in the flowers they pry...
to find nectar, in the sun do glisten...

a season with you, a day..
where the kids, all happy and gay..
with the sun in the sky,
oh how lucky am i..
i'm so happy, i've got nothing to say..

every second past, deserves another..
past seems like seconds, as we remember..
as the photos yellow,
and i, a grey, old, fellow
i'll still love you,
as i did forever...

by myloh
19.october.2004

dieci

dieci is ten in italian

it has been a long day..but the kind that could have you laughing at the end of the day... utterly sinful too..had loads of goodies.. most of the stuff that has been goign on for the past few days have cleared and i hhave much less on my mind and yet just as much cos the exams are drawing near...*gasps in horror*

today picked up some read .. curious cos maxim just launch themselves so thot i would take a look.. its the same stuff like men how to and stuff and the suggestively "girls trying too hard to look hot pictures".. hahaha well thot one piece inside was worth the discussion.. it was one of the men how to.. to those who disagree may want to post up your comments at the tagboard.. hehe

one of the more interesting ones was that these dating tips in more cases thatn one.. seem to lead to the part where the girls get laid..or something like that.. at times like this i was beginning to wonder wat the society sees men as..it kinda portrays us as this social(sexually rather) deprived creatures just let out of our cages and roaming around looking for targets to make out with...this is insane.. or downright stupid...and the worse was one part when they mention something bout "if you made love with the girl but do no want to see her again tactic" is our society realy that shallow to allow such things to happen..???

men may be pigs.. but there should still be men who are at least virgin pigs like ME..hehehehe

so-ne-la

so-ne-la is nine in cherokee for the uninitiated...

today spent some bit of time having some fun with my friend(she is really just a friend and i am still single.. hahah) joyce.. a bit of fun amidst the dilemmas that life has been throwing at myself or that i have thrown at myself...
i sometimes think of why some pple just go over the edge... most cases over the edge of a really tall building does it really bring about the sense of peace or that it really releases the soul and brings them to a more peaceful realm??? recently alot of "down the building" cases have been heard of..just hope that those pple could find something to hold them back..

today went out with a primary school friend joyce.. have not seen her in ages and boy have she changed.. most of us did..i did not really got in contact if not for certain incidents that occured.. so today was like a brother sister "outing" and it was quite fun going to the karaoke... then this joyce friend started to tell me of my palm.. she apparently picked it up from some where.. i was not sure of wat she said though a little doubtful.. even though i kinda am a believer in the horoscopes i have to agree that alot i can't be sure off the "predictions" cos i seriously could not prove it...heheh

i finally flatten out some folds through me "day off" with my friend.. it took my mind off enough to let me see certain things thats been going on.. (that shows a rest is good).. well i kinda screwed up during an "engagement" with a friend..not hostile but i kinda can't find the word for it at the moment..well it turned out really bad i was all tongue tied and stuff.. well i got into a little bit of a mess and when i was asked to explain wat was going on within my self i was even more tongue-tied and ended up gabbling away...well to whom it may concern if you read this..i need a little confirmation from you but your answers were pretty vague and i did not mean to push you for it but i think i kinda snapped out at the moment and just really screwed up.. hope you get this..

well personal stuff aside.. got work to do..

-end of post-

otto

to day i face the blaring screen while having ruff rydin' by dmx in the background...i screwed up totally on one and i am feeling a little bit like the brighter side of the planet.. but yet on the other end i feel like a bastard... i totally flipped and shadowed sorta by this "darker self" boy do i hate myself now.


...

Shichi/ Nana

just in case most of you are wondering .. the title of this post is actually seven in japanese...day has been ok with the regular peaks and troughs so there isn't much to talk about..haha

since i have nothing in particular to say today but since i am already here i might as well just type something...to all who read my blog.. i am not sure how many actaully remembers the movie [[you've got mail]]... it seems like only yesterday that i saw it..well thats the truth..literally(i had the vcd and i kept it in cold storage like forever and only manaage to dig it up from the abyss yesterday so i sat back and watched the show)... i was in primary school back then i think and it was kinda rare to go out for a movie so i wasn't really a movie buff but one day my sis took me out for an "outing" and we decided to catch a movie.. her treat of course.. hehhe... at the beginning i was sceptical abot the show although it starred meg ryan who until today is still my favourite hollywood actress apart from sphie marceau.. haha..

amazingly after so many years i still found the show refreshing especially when to seemingly unassociated characters just found one another by some freak force of nature..of course meg looks much better in this show..without her new pouty collagen filled lips...ewww*

remebering the times when i first got my vcd of you've got mail i used to watch it everyday without fail...to the state of almost remembering the conversations..(how sick could i get???)but it was beautiful to see such stories i mean this kind of stories hacve been put up on the silver screen perhaps as early as when technicolor came out with colour movies... but the itsy bitsy details in the movie i think is wat amde it really nice.. the nice music at the right time of the movie and also the onscreen chemistry between tom hanks and meg ryan...how sweet if this could happen in real life...

here are some pieces of extracts form the movie that strummed my heartstrings..

The whole purpose of places like Starbucks is for people with no decision-making ability whatsoever to make six decisions just to buy one cup of coffee. Short, tall, light, dark, caf, decaf, low-fat, non-fat, etc. So people who don't know what the hell they're doing or who on earth they are can, for only $2.95, get not just a cup of coffee but an absolutely defining sense of self: Tall! Decaf! Cappuccino!

Kevin, this girl is the most adorable creature I've ever been in contact with. And if she turns out to be as good looking as a mailbox, I would be foolish not to turn my life upside down and MARRY her.

Sometimes I wonder about my life. I lead a small life - well, valuable but small. And sometimes I wonder, do I do it because I like it, or because I haven't been brave?

If I really knew you, I know what I would find -- instead of a brain, a cash register, instead of a heart, a bottom line.

I like to start my letters off to you as if we're already in the middle of a conversation. I pretend that we are the oldest and dearest of friends as oppose to which we actually are, people who don't know eachothers names and met in a chatroom which we both claimed we'd never been to before. What will NY152 say today I wonder. I turn on my computer, I sign on, I wait impatiently as it connects and my chest catches my breath as I hear three little words. 'You've Got Mail' I hear nothing, not a sound on the city streets just the beat of my own heart. I have mail-- from you.

I would send you a bouquet of newly sharpened pencils, if I knew your name and address.

-end of post-

VI

a little elated today first comment about my blog.. sorry but i haven actually gotten into this yet so i've got loads of first itmes.. and the coments weren't the nice blog or yo watsup kind.. this person actually gave me that bit of insight that brought my perspective back in balance.

a little lost too today... lost my mind... lost for words...

the fifth????

second post in one day???

today been shopping...hahahha

most pple must be thinking a guy shopping??hahah
well its more like an afternoon with nothing to do headed out to grab a bite but ended up looking around...

was in takashimaya to buy a book and was looking around when the hugo boss showcase totally got me salivating over it..it seems i have this thing for lanyards from my green quiksilver one to simple 3 dollar ones form pasar malam.. hahha (lanyard fetish???) well had been hunting high and low for collectable ones..
back to the hugo boss shocase i saw this lime green colour ( one of my more like colours) lanyard with silver wordings .. absolutely chic man.. then pluck up my courage and pushed through the doors of the shop..only to be greeted by a relatively feminine specimen of a male... *goosepimples rising* but i chose to ignore him and asked him out right if that was a lanyard and how much it cost..
he said that it was atached to a jacket and later my ass of a mouth ended asking for the price (wat in god's green earth was i doin???) he dropped the bombshell on me by unflinchingly telling me that it cast $1507.80 .... me being totally flabbergasted intuitively smiled and turned towards the direction of the door where my friend colin was looking around...i swear never to step into that shop man.. super embarrassing..* slap myself*

after that picked up myslef to p.s for a game of intial-d (manga inspired japanese street mod cum crazy driving style kinda game) before heading home

the fourth....sigh...man...am i wordy or wat...

tests are looming nearer and nearer as the second needle ticks on the face of a seemingly small watch face.. it seems that time is passing ever that slowly yet some how it turns its back on you by slapping you in the face an telling you how much time had past since the last breath was drawn...

turned nutz on books lately..actually not really lately.. but more of a three month ago think when i started reading the davinci code by dan brown.. absolutely intriguing read i must say..and followed closely by angels and demons... the books later brought me into this frenzy of reading for pleasure.. i was a never a reader before i touched dan brown..i happen to not be acompulsive reader who is constantly hungry for books to munch and swallow down whole. at one book a week i deem myself as normal considering books as think as the ones by dan brown but some pple i knew could do the book in three days..( are they nuts or do they have too much time???)

the dan brown reading frenzy then lead me to the topics of religion at its roots..also because of how controversial it is that lead me to want to find out more..in the end i spent sinful amounts on books... this topic however leads to the realisation of the simple question of "why are we here???" in most of the online publications, men try to find meaning but unknowingly "invent" something to rely on and encompass them to believe to assure them selves of wat could not be explained.

how do we know 1, is 1 and why we call a man, a man and not a woman... this proves that men have been tryin to rationalise their own complications by finding origins to that deemed essential answer to make out lifes more assured but will it???

the third one..

seriously i am beginning to wonder how some of the people who own blogs are able to sustain it for so long..ever wonders wat happeens waith the content..most people do it like sort of a diary sorta thing.. but ain't a diary suppose to be private??? while most pple adopte the expository method.. but humans beings seriously, aren't wat they were at the beginning of civilisation... we aren't all that naive to believe all that is type d out on the blog.. are we>>??

anycase.. the days been kinda mixed up..it was sad cos i totally have my ass for the roasting for this rounds quiz... but consolation came in the form of a movie treat form my freind and the nice comforts of home..hahha...one of my computer's monitors when up in smoke making it one of the many before it to be trashed as soon as someone is diligent enough to raise their butts and lift up the monitor from its current resting place to where it belong(in the trash can) where it shall rest in pieces.....

till i blog again..
adieu.. ..

my second blog...

i wonder how pple could blog day after day after day.. and yet producing pieces of blogs that are deemed interesting.. this makes me think very much about how colourful are the lives of others and how much mine sucked... today its a very usual saturday.. wakin up at 10.30 and stuff... normally my dad would kill me and nag my ass of with the wake up early and get some house work done theory...well he's outstation so i manage to get that extra bit of sleep... then after breakfast and some tv it was 12.... time sure flys..
after lunch i was inspired to do up my door.. not a usual thing to do on asat afternoon.. but i did it any way... turned out kinda nice..not sure..but it sure looked beter thatn my ex-door..heheh



----end of blog----

first blog ever

been checking some books on psychology and trying to get to know myself a bit more... it was called the dewey color system.... you basically choose your favourite colour in a certain list and they give you a little "insight"into your self...like they classify the neutral colours like black and white as achromatics and this is wat they say about a guy who likes white like me..

my hopes

you give the gift of knowledge. your suggestions make others slow down and consider all the options. your objectivity gives you and others the ability to consider things thoroughly. when you get what you wish, your hope is renewed. you bring optimistic agendas and problem-solving skills to situations.

my fears

under pressure , you step back to gain objectivity. However, too much distance cause you to lose sight of what's most important to you. it can keep you from making the best of existing situations. slow down. remember to give your feelings equal power. you will know better wat you want. your world will feel more solid.

things to feed my soul(this i shrug my shoulders about)

when you have enough space , everyone benefits. having breathing room in your work environment and relationships gives you the power not to get bogged down with problems. you also gain the ability to tell people about new ways to make their lives better...

there is still loads more but i think it may scare some pple off..

and i realised my strange ability today.. i actually blurted out to myself in public.. like self conversation.. and when i realised wat was happening.. i found my self surround by goggling eyes closing in around me.. like i am soem mental patient standing by for inspection sort.. and this bunch of secondary school gals were basically laughing their a**es off..bloody embarassing..