regrets i have a few..

I really wish to tie it all up and toss it away.. but memories have a way of haunting use better than the poltergeist could.. and in some ways even more violently so.

Ever sat and read something, only to have it turn you into a wide eyed idiot consuming you as you consume it? Today was the day.

Dated this wonderful girl a long while back and she was wonderful.. and recently I saw her.. but I kept my distance. Figured that it was for the better.. and I guess it was. But my mind did not let go... it bugged me for a long time till this day. It's been a month since...  still clawing at the back of my skull.

I really wish that she could move on and find someone better, which she mentioned was indeed.. good for her.. but I never expected things to get all bitter and taciturn, even in some instances downright nasty.

I feel like the worst version of myself today. Now more than ever.

I just wanted to do the right thing.. but I guess breaking up with someone rarely is. The hurt caused was unequivocal.. but I really wished it would heal.

I am not sure if these words ever cross your eyes at all.. but I'd just want to put it out there that I was sincerely wishing that we could end things amicably. My lack of confidence and ineptitude in handling the relationship was something that even I could not predict.. and the fact that you straggled on wordlessly made it alot worse.

I wished it was communicated more face to face than through the detour that is messaging.. but I knew if I could go back .. I would right the wrongs. Just that I can't.

For girls who think that guys let go and move on really quick, you are wrong. We all have our baggages.. whilst it would be unfair to say that of all men.. but I can say that I carry them for a long while and am still looking for means to drop them. You were on my mind all this while.. it has been 3 years.. and not a day passed without my guilt pricking me in my sides.. and my constant wondering of how you are doing or the antics and times we had. So when I msged and just wanted to wish you all the best.. I meant everyword.. because I know that I couldn't have done it .

I really really really really wish you all the happiness you deserve.

Still looking to drop you off ... Dearest Memory Mj.