wat a week.. month.. day.. something.

here i am for a long time since i last blogged.. i wished i've been able to have osme giant remote with a huge pause button.. sometimes.. i wish i could indulge in things and just stay there for a while longer..cos somethigns are just so hard to grasp.. and no matter how short it lasted.. even if its really small.. i just realy wanted to have these moments all strung up ..

sometimes i thing i take it a tad too easy and i guess sometimes i may have been a tad too easy .. to take things so lightly and make a hash of alot of things.. i guess the worst would be when i dive into things. being a idiot at times doesn;t really help.

well i was with a bunch of girls. well i know wat you pple are thinking.. but i am not some player..i'm just trying to find someone.. but the trial and error process is horrendous.

well more error i guess..



and speaking of which .. i met someone recently with whom i could swear i was mesmerised like never before...well i've probably said this more than the spokes on a wheel..or the spines of a porcupine.. but this time its not the looks.. i actually knew her voice first. then her mind.. then.. finally her face.. well its a break because.. we are so similar in so many ways.. its scary.. she has this really driven character about.. so serious about her work and goign all out for it.. at the same time she makes me feel so nice when we speak on the phone.. i never feel the need to censor myself around her and. all in all she is just brilliant. and i miss her. i really do.. even though we never made it together.. its really not meant to be.. but she was really the inside stuff .. the stuff that matters.. she doesn;t look bad.. can run in heels.. very responsible..

but..

she is a fad older with a diff pool.. and no doubt on phone we melt into each other.. just moans and groans are like a tickle to our ears.. and no need for words.. but when we met.. it got all weird.. and we shrunk away..

i wish i am more patient.. i wish things were different..

well wishes are as they are.. elusive as ever.. ..

well gtg.. i miss her.. kinda like how i missed Sijin.

but having never maintained contact.. all i could do is miss...

sometimes it feels like i'm whithering.. i long for attachemtn and some one who would be the one. but i guess.. its be more testing then i anticipated..

love is a jaded thing...?