second day of "blogging" on "notepad" not the best of days.. it seems not the best of my luck also...my life is goign topsy turvy.. for one moment i thot of writing my last..well after much thot maybe i did not have the courage to do so.. or maybe i was just wallowing in self pity..today was not good.. put simply...
first was my class.. got there late..shit..then later felt tension.. cos i have been neglecting my work and this class mate of mine has been doing my part.. i felt like a bastard.. i mean if i had a chunk to do.. you could have sent me wat i needed to do.. but she did it for me.. and i felt horrible..+ over the weekend i got my mind wipe slate all clean of my work.. basically it was just not good..any explanation would only make it sound likea cover up and turn me into an even worse asshole that i already am... and wat could be worse was when i was given the chance to go for this voluntering trip to sri lanka and i thot of going .. but my mum did not allow.. and in the end.. i almost had this big tiff with my mum.. i felt like shit.. it was like why can't i and she was like saying you will have loads of opportunities in future.. but every one.. or anyone.. how many out there have really found such an opportunities in your life after working..
then after the squab.. i got really crashed.. so i called my sis.. and see wat was their view.. and it turned out that there is a trade off in all that we do.. which i felt totally sucked..i do not want to spent my holidays doing boring routine stuff.. i want a exciting memorable one.. i wanted that for my life as well but my life seem destined to be the 9 to 5 grow old get married that is IF i ever get married and havea kid or two and die..this concepts sucked.. i wish i could do more... than this platonic money driven piece of shit..
(to be continued..cos blogger has prob with long posts)
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