ages since..

its been a long time since i ahve updated my blog or so it seems. and soon i feel its beginning to bore me out...maybe because of my job.. it feels like one has sold the soul to the devil.. everything becomes tasteless. and you tend to not be able to go out and sutff cos some times work ends too late..
+ the inevitabel curfew kinda makes things worse..cause you can't get involved in daytime activities no more.. so the only way is night.. and when your parents vcap that up.. pple like me is left with not much stuff to do..how sad..bohoo..

and maybe toomuch stress going on.. kinda..pple who are close enough to even observe me in private would be able to notice this trait that has since been coming more often then anticipated..recently.. i realised i have been toking to myself..is something wrong with me??
maybe i am just on the verge of becoming a madman and run amok with a kitchen knife..or maybe i am just one step away form base jumping of the hdb flat without a parachute..

but for those who are looking for someone to tok to or something.. i am still normal as in i won jump at you for nuts in the midst of a conversation..



attachment..looking for one.. yet dreadng to leave one..and almost hating the same one i dread leaving... ... i dunnoe how mong i can hold on..

well for my first instant of attachment well its kinda complicated..haha..so lets move on..

my second instance is really basically my work..i am feeling really crappy at work i guess.. and i feel so used up..guess burn out should be arriving shortly.... and apart fomr my self conversation with an "imaginary person".. i almost broke down to bitz..i was doin a test in lab and later orders came piling and for some reason.. i was felinglike i was goign to burst..so i did my work like i would when i am on drugs almost.. i was fast and edgy... i was almost over i thot..then suddenly i was asked to do another test amidst my current job.. and wheni saw the list.. i just felt like shouting and hollering out loud..but some how i felt like i had a mute button on or some shit..so involuntary i pounded the desk..and it was loud enuff for the entire lab to hear..and take notice.. i then stepped out of the cubicle and proceeded to do my work under questioning stares as to wat happened... an me hafl explaining .. half lying was saying that i knocked the table but i guess i face showed the corwd that i was not hurt but more angered or frustrated... ... i was worried..

i was hoping someone could tell me wat to do..

i am lost..