something i wish you could hear.

you make me feel like i could fly..

i longed for you for so long.. and i am ever thankful for your being here.. please dun vanish again..

Thank you.

upset.. think again? and again?

i whole chain of stuff has started for me..

some i wished for the longest time ever.. some i am not even sure wat i am doing..

and suddenly i seem to have been caught off guard of sorts..

confident me.. well.. not really ..

more a shell that has been shattered time and again..

and has revealed the lifeless sinews within..

more often than not.. i find myself sleeping .. or rather not sleeping..

this would have to be a first.

i am all frazzled..tired and unfocused..

it was this..and i look like shit. SHIT..



not so long back.. i was in love.. infatuated.. not unlike seeing a model in a poster and going all gaga etc.. except its for real..she was and still is a godsend.. for which i am thankful and i wish that i could hold and behold..well i have beheld her all along.. and have held..and wish to hold for life long.

but then.. some time in my life.. her absence carved a void.. she was kinda away.. without notice or knocking.. i thot she had forgotten about me.. and after asking for advice from friends.. they said its a strong and unreasoning but transitory attachment. I wished it wasn't.. and it wasn't.. i thot i could forget her.. then.. i got into a mess..

i tumbled into a relationship.. which then spun out of control..

its really like mudpie squished..

then.. i wanted to die..cos it just can't go further..

then its like urghhhhhh...

i just wanna die..

then i am for about two hours..

but somehow i wished i did not just bounce back..

then i thot i'd just meet up with the same girl again.. to further explain myself if

and then..it got worse.. trying to state the impossibility of us being together is

just painful..but i really could not bear it any all.. so i just kinda killed off

like i was prepared to face her all teary and ready to kick my arse.. well... i

didn't get it.. not sure am i to be thankful or frightful.. and also at this

juncture..and to complicate it further something that i have been waiting for..

on one end.. i felt like have sinned.. then..


guilty..


...
dunnoe wat to do ..