sixteen

i have sinned... ...
i have sinned alot... ...
this feels alittle like a church where i could confess my sins and be reborn.. issit...??

shi wu ( fifteen in chinese)

it ahs been a along time since i have touch my com let alone the blog..so it feels kinda nice having to tap on the keyboard while tellin some sappy story to a void where hopefully someone.. gets somethign from it..and my give me something in return..while having my ears plugged into diana krall and typing my self into a this seemingly infinite void..where all messages seem to flow out..like flour through the sieve leaving the tangled thots for oneself to unravel..holidays have come to an end in the blink of an eye..starting school in the december month..absolutely dreadful.. thinking of alll the festive stuff to tempt me off track... heheh...

somehow my most dreadful chapter is about to arrive or at least it think so... kinda flopped my papers i think.. and that maymean i out of my current school for good..
it just seems stuff when put into text books magically lose their allure...thank god i am not studying cars.. although i have been drenched to the bone with the passion for cars but some how its could get really tasteless if i have been forced to study it.

this time round there is a problem about matters of affection..how does one know that one is truly in love??any signs.. that one can use as beacons in the dark unlit paths of affection...please do comment..it will be much appreciated..

kumi na nne (fourteen in east african)

been out today... at around..it was a semi raining afternoon with a slight rancid smell in the air..in this times which seems to fly by so fast.. it seems that many of us are looking for words to comfort ourselves..alot of my freinds have since turn towards books..
quite unlike my younger days when tv seems to be the essence of life and they seems to be an undying thirst to finish watching tin tin before going to bathe...television is not exactly out of my life..and i won say that i only watch the news... in fact sorry to say but i try to avoid the news especially in the morning.. hehe.. but an occasional dose of television be it comedy or news or soaps seem to make live that little bit more livable or at least i feel so..

after the holidays have started, i have been hanging out and at home pretty much..and recently my urge to read has been awokened friom the more dormant state after i was blown away by dan brown..

current read is a book by torey hayden called one child about abunch of not so well developed children being taken care of unconditionally by miss torey hayden in the book..alittle bit of the darker parts of this planet where we have still ourselves to conquer.. it ain the big things like the iraq war or even catastrophic events that yank our heads to the news to notice..but it seems that many have been blinded myself included...well its not really something to be ashamed of as majority of the human race is at war with themselves 24/7.. the job stresses, office politics, family conflicts, share prices, oil prices, global economy, taxes,where to go for the next holidays etc...but we have never been able to put thiss thigns down to look further..do diferences really mean to cut our societies apart.. or has it been set upon us to see hoe we could be tested and to see well we accommodate others??

blown away...

dreizehn(german for thirteen)

ever felt like you have a rock tied to you and your foot steps become really heavy...today a clso fiend of mine left for a attachment prgramme the kind where one goes to work for free kind..(just kidding) well in fact seven of my friends are heading off three of which are whom i have got to know better..and although they'll will be gone for a month only i feel as though there will be gone in a long time.. and that it will be really long time before i ever see them again kinda feeling.. and its weighing me down..