Friday, March 31, 2006

a deliberated piece

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a hallway filled with light.
warmth,genteel through air does flight.
amidst the ambered rays,
came a soul of ragged pace.
as sun shine pass in yellow warmth,
the light through walls all louvred, torn,
approached one of not obscured or blocked
but magnificently unvealed, in its sight do gawk.
does shine a face and lit to life,
the gleaming gold waltzed across the sky.
its aging light through time does slowly die.
soon a gleaming pair chases , running forth,
and slows to a dropping tear,
trailing down the cheeks so soft.
the last window, the eighth, i came to pray
to see the final lights of day,
only to be left in dismay,
as it left and never a farewell did say.

now in face of darkness grim does gleams of moon seep through,
why has the sun left me in cold and harsh so cruel.


-Brethren Coulter
in yearn for day to come again

Wednesday, March 29, 2006

have you ever.

have you ever had a day you thot would be great.. but turned out to be the worst day of your life?

well think of it this way.. my life is crumbling to bits.. and i am dying..and jsut when everything was thot to be normal.. some one throws you a block of c4..

there are so many tings i wanted to do.. but i could never

i wanted to tell this girl i was really into her.. but i couldn't

i wanted to do better but i couldn't

i wanted to grab hold of my life.. but i couldn't

i wanted to end my life.. but i couldn't

i wanted so much just to live life with no worries but i couldn't

i wanted so much honest to my parents but i couldn't

i wanted so much to be confidnet. but i couldn't

i have many wants.... so many i wish i were a monk..



If only i could read her mind and sense her thots..if only..

Friday, March 24, 2006

gosh i forgot...

before i forget..

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there is suppose to be one more woman not mentioned in the previous post.. here she is..hehehe

3. Yet again a lady of beauty. Captures all the attention like crystal capturing light…unique. Reserved. Well seen... (Exposed) intelligent.. Sophisticated... Good taste. Good sense of humour...Accommodating... toothy smile... Humble. Attention grabbing... some what distant…

till i blog again..

anycommnets are welcome..just nail it on the taggy k.. thanks

contd from prev prev..read lah..comment k..

read liao pls comment k.. hahah

Although there are those who come and take a peek... but I trust there won’t be many who will read toward the end... still I am to write about my ending...

Since no one will read this I shall write to my thots...About six faces…by now.. I guess most could guess where this is going. Well its going to be silly and downright stupid but I am going to type it anyways..

Of the six 3 and fantasies and 3 and realities.

Lets start with the fantastic ones..

1. Melissa theuriau: (French newscaster. firstly French. I love... Sophisticated.. Beautiful... In control... Or seem to be... eloquent... wit. Intelligence...)….. Absolute merveilleux..

2. Sophie marceau: (again French.. beautiful.. classy.. temptress… purely fantasy. think supercar..Gorgeous.. But you really dun want it...)

3. Vittoria vetra: (Italian.. [finally something different] heroine in Dan brown’s book “angles and demons” I shall quote as the book said, “lithe and graceful, she was tall with chestnut skin… and long black hair that swirled with the backwind of the rotors. Her face was unmistakably Italian – not overly beautiful, but possessing full, earthy features that even at twenty yards seemed to exude a raw sensuality. “ … ) … wat a woman… estupendo..

Now is time for the real ones.. these are very generic.. so readers any similarities should not be taken seriously.. could bea case of sheer coincidence..

1. a lady with beauty.. Candid.. Casual.. Rugged.... possibly sensual..Confident..Boyish at times but is really a girl with intimate thots...good taste…interesting choices…trendsetter… A gnashy grin. Makes yourday...Playful and chummy. Likes beer...Chatty...And innocent.

2. a lady of beauty … with wit but some wat limited in outlook.. or not my ideal. Sorry (purely my view) .. Close. but too close for comfort… a little pampered.. Not rugged. witty.. Yearning to break out of her shell.. Searching for breakthrough.. Lacks confidence.. Indecisive..Innocent..Curious. Great smile..

till i blog again..comments are welcome just tag..thanks

contd fomr the previous post..

As I ran I began to speak to the asphalt... Strange I know... but I do tok to myself... its kinda like sharing with someone.. And ideal... My singular…and then I realized... Or rather something came to my mind... Or rather not something... it’s many things...
I was wondering... Wat issit I do that mattered... At all... Things I have tried to achieve lose their worth like my currency has been burnt and have lost their value. Everything seemed pulverized..

I have lost hope and my self worth in that speck of a thot... And then came faces... Faces of pple I have failed... Pple of whom I have thanked for their utter patience and pple who I love... Of which came this chapter.. Where faces appeared... I felt blind…or blinded... I feel foolish and it seems I cannot quite see through faces… in this I mean my infatuations... Or rather my likings or my yearn to find the other..

Its in my horoscope that I am foolish a lover and that I take plunges and not steps at love.. That I fall head over heels at first sight. And I admit my flaw... yet somehow I seem unable to see beyond it. To me it has always been looks, intelligence, wit, and personality. Sounds simple but to many its like the ultimate impossibility.. One would have to be able to touch the sky to be the one.. And even then... I would feel inferior to that person. I feel foolish...

a long post.. well not really.. just try to read it in bits..

long title i know.. but its an even longer post..

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Chisel on wood
Pen on paper
Thorn to flesh
Splinter in my mind.

There are many things in many pples heads... every moment of everyday in every second is a finite count that seems to drain us off and send us forward… supposedly.

Sometimes I feel the world is fake and that it is falling apart... well at times I feel this cannot be too far from the truth. Everyday we are to be faced with and face things which may be of favour to us...Or not. In all this ramblings it seems some thing seems to be missing. Well it is... Wat is lost is a singular… a constant... And a starting point for our reference…

A beacon for us to look back at and think.. how far things have come..

Had a day today as I had any of my days alone. To some it’s miserable. And to be absolutely honest.. I think so too. Its those days where is aimless.. Although there are things you want to do but it seems like beside it... Its seemingly empty.. A likened void..

Woke up made a fruit blend.. For breakfast and got my day started.... I turned on the radio and on it is pink martini… still thankful to Heidi for having put it up on her wish list. And as I listened.. I swept and after which I slummed on the couch waiting for time to come when I would pick up my things and head out. To those who know me.. Which I doubt are many,… I am hardly homely... Not sure why... But I grabbed a book and I headed out.. to a café where I took a seat next to the window with my coffee and a slice of cake before I set out on this journey in my book in my mind…

Came home later and found myself wishing time would just pause... And that some moments would last. Like in photographs... But only in real life. Then we would walk by and not look at clocks.. Not look at watches... Or ask about time...

Thoughts…sheer fantasy I seriously hoped.

Went jogging… with my dad today. But wasn’t in my mood to jog today… seem something is missing.. Felt like my life is a mess.. Since birth things have never really worked out…well most of the time... It just seems as though I have been blundering through all my life... And until today I feel….I am but nothing…. With nothing to have shown for my twenty years on this planet...

Tuesday, March 21, 2006

goign bonkers..

have you pple ever gone crazy like jump out of the window crazy over somethings.. well i guess for me that would be soon..

cos of many things..

like all guys they is the girls cars and food..everythign else is and encompassment toward this.. or so i found out through my over lunch talk with a friend liying over lunch..until i went through it again then i thto there are many more like these.. eg would be music..esp after little miss Heidi put on such a right thing for her wishlist.. i mean how many persons on this bloody planet has actually heard of pink martini.. i mean the songs some of them.. but the group..most have never even smelt.. let alot heard..hmm..(sorry was hungry at time of posting)...

yesterday was out with yanny to look for her stuff and finally got her to get a nice pair of heels after which brought her to cg-5 to go try out some clothes for her work..somehow i wonder..how come when i dress pple up they look good.. but my own dress sense is like shit..amazing..(scratching head)..

strange thot in my head: "looking for a girl who looks like tom cruise... hmmm can they be such a thing??"
before you all jump.. i am toking about a female equivalent if there is such a thing..hmmm.. i'm not gay... yet anyways.. hahahah

pink martini.. shaken not stirred..

Sympathique Pink Martini lyrics
Artist: Pink Martini
Album: Sympathique
Year: 1997
Title: Sympathique

Ma chambre a la forme d'une cage
Le soleil passe son bras par la fenêtre
Les chasseurs à ma porte
Comme les p'tits soldats
Qui veulent me prendre

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Déjà j'ai connu le parfum de l'amour
Un million de roses n'embaumerait pas autant
Maintenant une seule fleur dans mes entourages
Me rend malade

Je ne veux pas travailler
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Je ne suis pas fière de ça
Vie qui veut me tuer
C'est magnifique être sympathique
Mais je ne le connais jamais

Je ne veux pas travailler
Non
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Je ne suis pas fière de ça
Vie qui veut me tuer
C'est magnifique être sympathique
Mais je ne le connais jamais

Je ne veux pas travailler
Non
Je ne veux pas déjeuner
Je veux seulement l'oublier
Et puis je fume

Monday, March 20, 2006

i want i want i want..

its that time of the year again

hahahha

well wat can i say i guess i have loads of wants but i can understand that i am not born witha buy anything ability.. and i think it kinda makes the situation worse..

just when i thto i would contented with life and just live without.. i was tingled by this cd on Heidi's blog and i wasn;t sure wat to make of it at first.. then i went to check it out.. and it blew my head off.. i was bonked.. zonked.. bogswallop.. watever.. it just blew my socks off..

right now as i typed the seventh track "Lilly" is playing and i was totally blown.. its the sort that makes you wanna jingle with like the sort that would jsut tickle you bones into action.. absolutely fantastic.. my fav so far is the track "veronique"..

c'est absolument magnifique...

Wednesday, March 15, 2006

yet another sick day...

i am sick again..well to some(like my mum).. i have always been.. ....

i was out yesterday with liying and we had a long walk. really long..

think..dhoby ghaut to somerset to cityhall..

well lets look at wat else we did...

watched v for vendetta...

walked..

walked..

walked..

stopped for a drink..

walked...

at clark quay took a euro bungee ride..

walked..

went to dhoby ghaut for bites at fish and co.

home..

then this is where the shit falls..

i went home.. bathe and came out with a 39.2 degree temperature..

till today i am all stoned and still runnig a temperature..

gosh help me.. and my mum is like treating me like i am goign to die...which i presume may happen soon.. cos i am so dying to go out..its booooooring at home man..

anyways..till i blog again..

Monday, March 13, 2006

another day sick..

am i too frail?? i think i am.. or close to being at least...

gosh this on/off thing is scary...well lots of things to look forward too..

heads getting fuzzy..

but i guess i am better off as compared to those who are slogging off their week

whilst i kick back on a cup of tea listen to "la vie en rose"


till i blog again.

Sunday, March 12, 2006

march 11th

wat a day.. not sure wat to make of it really. woke up witha headache and joints achy all round.. from head to toe..arghhh.. fellt lethargic and i had a high fever.. not sure if its damn high but when i saw the doctors expression he seems to be amazed i am still alive..well at 39.2 its no wonder.. haha.. dragged myself to the market with my parents for breakfast.. i kinda lost my appetite when i walked past the poultry and the fish.. so i only had jellied beancurd.. then later i went back home felling horrible?? well i was not sure .. doign up my designs while having moby playing in the hifi.. then having cooked a hardboil egg and had break with soya milk..( all that soy ) all that while messaging this friend of mine "heidi" (not the gal with braids and the yodelling..se previous post) and there after i kinda recovered.. just in time for dinner.. amazingly..

my family was having this big i mean BIG dinner that evening cos its my mums birthday so we went to longbeach for dinner.. it seems to offset my bland and quite flat "lunch" which consisted of bread and water.. anyways pics below..

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my dad and my mum.. loving even after so many years.. hehe

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yummy!!.. hehe lets see thats chilli crab and some cocnh thing and veg and sharks fin..and i forgot wat else..but it was definitely delicious..finger-licking good.. haha

Friday, March 10, 2006

dance??

i am not the sort who dances... and the stranger thing would be i am joining this dancing class.. maybe to overcome my inadequacy..well when to one the day yesterday and i fell flop on my face i felt like a tree..i cannot do anything i feel for a moment that my feet are stuck.. gosh..

well got stirred into action and actaully tried it at home and got it.. i think. haha..well yesterday was suppse to meet heidi (hyde-d)and des .. we went for dinner at long johns and there after we went to some bubble tea store for bubble tea..i have to say it was a mixture when with hyde-d.. its a love hate think..she is the sort who is kinda bubbly nad teasable.. but unlike many gals .. she packs a punch..gosh..and worse when desmond is on her side..sigh... i am sucha poor thing.. ahahh


here are some pics taken .. we were THAT bored.. were we???..


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from the top, dessy is a cannibal..he was trying to show us his gruesome jaws and was attempting to swallow my head why keeping me distracted with two fingers.

dessy showed that he has a preference for male flesh ..here we see him trying to suppress his nausea when the female preay is near... hehehe .. wicked**...

a pissifying day

well today i can seriously sayy it was good and bad.. mixed feelings..haha

well lets start with a sleep at 2 am in the morning and my dad says its my fault that
he woke up i was like huh?? cos i closed the doors i ai dun make anynoise watsoever.. so there's one.this is bad...

thne it was wake up time.. today was suppose to give miss Heidi a wake up call and the first thing i heard was this moan and groan sound through the phone which sounded like whales in the water..hahah (must be one big whale on the other side of the line.. haha)then finally she wakes up .. mission accoplished.

after that i sat down to my cook up in the morning of sausages, bacon and egg and my homemade milkshake but no milk so used yakult.. even better.. yummy(rubs tummy).. next was tv and more eats.. i had lychees and a pear..and some prawn roll thingy.. haha(sorry but i eat alot.. hah)

well i am cutting down..

then after that went to suntec for the it show..
on the way there some b_+ch who was apparently fomr china cos she blarred out into her handphone in beijing style-chinese and i was a tad irritated.. then came the big one.. she turned around and said:" UNCLE... how to go to si ma lu.." i was damn ass cheesed.. after i told her i wanted to wrench her head off her neck siah... not really jsut exaggerating..but anywyas.. a thirty plus auntie calling me uncle..wtf!!!

arghhh

at the exhib it was as per usual the crowd jsut turned my appetite to browse to -1 almost plus those gals in those scanty outfit..wats the deal?? some of them are liek soooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo ugly.. no offence but its true.. and sex sells but i would rather not... then it was off to lunch.. thank god the fountain terrace was quiet.. so i lunch alone in the tranquility of that afternoon .. then after that was to mph for abit of book shopping.. and back home..

and eventful day.. tired..till i blog again.

Tuesday, March 07, 2006

another one..for today...

today was pretty busy??

i think so.. haha..

well got up early.. woke up washup and had some breakfast

next was wake up call time.. and so i called up the cow upstairs..

hahaha.. well not really a cow.. if she were gosh i would think she has mcd..hah

not..

well she is a tiger..but a lazy one at that..hhahaah :p

well today was lunch and lunch..and lunch... and... well lunch..sorry alittle senal here...

oh yes..we had lunch and we walked about..haha

window shopping just without the buying of windows.. ahah(okok lame..i know..)

well after which we got back and then it was out to exercise.. well supposed to be joggin.. but it turned out being a jog turn brisk walk turn walk turn see-saw and swing time turn walk.. haha..

but i have to say it was good fun cos we found an old school see saw without those
dreaded spring thingy .. and we had a nice time laughin and playig on the swing.. at this point i feel like divulging somebody's secret but i decided not to.. but if you all ask me politely i may let you know.. hahahaha


hope we'll do better next time..

okok.. till then.. ciao..

a belated post...

this post is the post of the broken arm...

haha

well its a day in my holidays.. and pple around me would realised i have gotten a little "wider" than i use to be..well maybe just a weeeeeeeeeeeee.. bit.. (who am i kidding).. well it started with a early morning wakeup form my alarm clock and five minutes of squirming in my bed before i finally "descended" from it and made my way to the basin to washup..in fifteen minutes i was out of the door with my bag and a badminton racquet and an apple in my mouth.. making my way to meet up with a bunch of pple i haven seen in ages....my friends...haha.. well at least two of them and one whom i jsut met that morning..

so here goes.. the names for "friends met that morning" goes to..Jane Ariel Tarzan(this is the same person...), Desmond aka "chewwy", and a new chap called jeremy..who was vaguely docile looking but a pretty funny chap.. hhehe

so after a long badminton session in the morning we went on to play bowling ( are we nuts??).. cos we got hit on the head and we were out of our noodle..

during which our dear friend heidi nearby was having a great time haha.. btw she was dressed in collared blouse and tailored pants with court shoes...ooooh.. nice... but too bad she was cranking up due to a blister in her shoes.. (achy business)well she managed to take a pic of her doing her attchment..according to her it was mission impossible..haha..(the picture is not displayed here due to safety reasons..) but we could show you the pic we took and shot back at her to lighten up her first day at work..

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after that much stuff.. i went home and i collapse on my bed..argh!!!.. muscle ache...

Saturday, March 04, 2006

tiger tiger

Tiger people are sympathetic, kind, emotional, and sensitive. At movies, they can cry their eyes out! Despite their kindness, they can be extremely short-tempered. The rage of Tigers is terrible to behold but it also gives them the adrenaline needed for the sublimest of bravery. The Tiger is also a deep thinker and can make the most astonishing intellectual connections, with great mental agility. On the negative side, they tend to be suspicious and a bit self-centered, OK selfish, and indecisive. Above everything, however, the Tiger stands as a supreme emblem of protection over human life, admirable always.

You see the Fire Tiger across the room, making a very dramatic entrance. Suddenly you are mesmerized by the eloquent eyebrows, yes, eyebrows, of that very vital face. So expressive, this face is positively on fire! Wait a bit longer and you will be caught up in hearing laughter that goes right through the bones and catches you up in it. The Fire Tiger is a thrilling person to know, full of enthusiasm for every aspect of life, optimistic to the core. Even cloudy days are seen for what they are, simply vibrant grays on the verge of exploding into sunshine. Fire Tigers are leaders in the best sense of the word, honest and fair with everyone. They love being boss. Fire Tigers get over any financial difficulties they might encounter very quickly. Although they might not possess great fortunes, they certainly enjoy comforting financial security throughout their lives. The Charismatic Fire Tiger is full of charisma and has no trouble attracting love and finding lasting relationships. This Tiger loves to play and is enlivened by sensuality and passion. To know Fire Tigers is to love Fire Tigers.

Wednesday, March 01, 2006

sigh sigh

i dunnoe if this is normal.. but i seem to be puzzled about this subject..

you see couples in the streets holding hands.. the pecks the words..

and the paradox comes and hit you like a bus when some punk who just flopped at it

tells you : "It sux!!!! Stay single..go be a monk or something...."

and the other guy would be huggin his gal in one hand most passionately saying: "Its

like heaven...utterly indescribable... like having godiva chocolates ina warm bubble

bath with cocoa oils with ten nymphets around you.. massagin your every bone

(or somewhere around there)...OH!!(at this moment he holds her even tighter and they

look into each others eyes and you want to run away to go look for a bucket)


sorry to be diggin into this pit hole which has drowned many over the eons since its

very existence.. but its in our face hence the question.. and it kinda kicked me in

today.. hence i am here trying to push it out and have some poor soul reply..

partially cos i was doing abit of studying today when i took a break and stumbled

upon a corner in kino full of books on astrology..(close friends of mind would know i

tend to believe in it)

and most are about love..and one i found actaully mentioned..on which day i would be

in luck for love..and i am bloody single..so..ermm..



some how i miss that feeling..the one where you hold someone in your heart with all

your fantasies (guys, dun stray) and your hopes of wat she could and may be in your

life to come..in simple english a crush... well there is one... but i am unsure ...

sigh.. this is my first crush on a girl younger than me... should i?? should i not..

sigh..


in anycase... i wish..